Lightning Field
by ForsakenKalika
Summary: There were many things he did not know about Sakura. One was her ability to stick to her guns when stuck in a corner, another was how well she would do without him, the third was that she never needed him in the first place.
1. Glory Box

**Holy hell, I'm not dead! My family and I have moved and things have been hectic. Low is kind of unofficially on hiatus (which means, I'm writing it, but it's slow going because i work crazy hours.) Cashmeritan and I are having a kakasaku contest, BTW. Hit up the lj community to see the information. There are many a fun thing going on over there (*eyes Zel's Titans contest*).**

**5/26/10: Yes, I have updated. Yes, I am editting. Nothing has changed in the first five chapters, however, excepting song lyrics in the beginning.**

**I do not own Naruto.**

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I'm so tired of playing  
Playing with this bow and arrow  
Gonna give my heart away  
Leave it to the other girls to play  
For I've been a temptress too long  
-Portishead "Glory Box"

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Chapter 1: Glory Box

Soft sighs permeated the air in the small space. A shuffle of clothing, the sounds of heavy fabric meeting the floor, and a kiss roughly ended. "We... can't." Trembling breath filled the darkened room. More fabric rustled, tossed behind like trash. The bed groaned as weight shifted. A gasp broke through the uneven breathing. "We really can't."

Her voice was silky, convincing. "Why not? You want to, I want to..." A kiss, and lust and regret saturated the air. He bit back a groan as she ran her hands along his length, betraying his own words.

"One last time, then it's goodbye." His voice was resigned, detached. He had already said all of this, and was weary of the repetition.

In the sliver of moonlight filtering through his closed curtains, he made out her thin form stretching along his bed. 'One last time,' he thought, running his hands up her thighs, toward her core. She shivered with lust, but stayed still for his hands to roam. They ventured over her hardened nub, one thumb giving it a press before moving upward. He traced the outlines of her abdominal muscles, following with his hot mouth.

As he reached her breasts, his hands worked over her nipples, trapping her dusty pink tips between his fingers. He kissed and nibbled the underside of one, only to tweak the other. As his mouth worked its way to one hard peak, his hand worked downward, back toward her now moist folds.

Caressing index and pointer over her clit, he dipped both fingers momentarily inside her. He reveled in her whines and sought to hear more. As he toyed with her slit, her slender hand had made short work of his boxer briefs, gripping his now free hardness.

He groaned, this time not trying to hide his pleasure, and suckled her in response. She pumped him, and he eventually gave up the game, seeking to be in her warmth.

Her legs wrapped around his slender hips, ankles locking, as he ran his weeping tip over her glistening entrance. Using a bit of force, she pushed his head into her. He sank slowly, inch by inch, until finally slamming the rest of the way.

She cried out, and raised her own petite pelvis to grind against his. Losing himself in her heat, he rode each euphoric wave with her, gritting his teeth as she twitched and convulsed around him. Her gasps and sighs were the orchestra of their lovemaking. "Oh, god... Ka-ka-shiiii..." She whined, closer each thrust.

As her inner walls tightened, his tight rein on his control slipped. His sacs tightened, and she was filled with warmth. It would be, she mused, the only warmth he would ever give her.

"Sakura," his voice broke through the post-coital haze, "this really is the last time."

Morning in Konoha was a gorgeous time to behold. The sun shone softly, and the city began to come alive for yet another day. It was warm, and becoming warmer, as the days ticked toward the apex of summer.

Kakashi rolled, using his arm to block the offending sunlight. Upon the slow recollection of the last night's event, his one grey eye cracked to survey his small bedroom. His body was barely registering the trace of body heat left in the space she occupied. His ears strained to hear any movement.

Mornings like these, after they were 'done', he could usually hear her moving around the apartment. She would always shower, and then prepare breakfast and a bento for lunch. After methodically performing those activities, she would crawl back to bed and wake him, either with her hot mouth on his skin, or her arms around his midsection.

However, as Kakashi laid there listening, he slowly realized she was not there. Sitting up, he listened a little more intently. No, she was gone.

Part of him praised her for taking heed of his words, with a hearty 'good riddance.' The other part pouted like a child that there would be no bento in his small fridge.

Not quite knowing what to do, he slipped his feet out of the blankets and to the floor. He half expected a note, saying something akin to, 'gone to store, bbs, xx sakura xx', to slip from his covers. There was no such note.

Kakashi vaguely wondered if she had a mission or work. No, he realized, she was out last night, celebrating a well-earned vacation.

He stood, and moved about gathering his clothes. Slipping his standard issue shirt over his head, he moved into the open concept living room/kitchenette. Kakashi noted the less than gleaming surface of his coffee table, and the crumpled blanket on his couch. Those should have respectively been polished and folded.

Upon finding no note on the dining bar separating his living area from his kitchen, he meandered toward the fridge. Kakashi's suspicions were confirmed; he was lacking a bento from the pink-tressed ANBU.

"She really must have been in a rush," he remarked to himself. He stared meaningfully at his slate blue walls, wondering what to do now that his day would not be shadowed with remorse and self-hatred. Normally, he would be preparing to visit the memorial, to ask advice from the most objective of sources, but now... Now he felt strangely light, worry-free almost.

After wasting away his morning cleaning his unkempt apartment, he showered, preparing to meet the day fully. The first thing Kakashi noticed was the lack of a towel drying on the rack. So Sakura hadn't showered... As his shower commenced, his keen eye picked up the curious lack of her shave gel and razor on the built-in shelf. No longer was the raspberry cream scented shampoo on the ledge of his tub.

An almost audible click was heard as Kakashi put the facts together. Sakura really wasn't coming back. At all. Ever. An odd sense of loss overcame him, and he had to lean against the cool tiles under its weight. All these times saying goodbye, only to return again for something she 'left behind'... He jerked the knobs, ending his shower. Rushing out of his bathroom, loosely wrapping a towel around his hips, he scoured his apartment. Sure enough, everything that had been Sakura's was gone. Moreover, with them all, a piece of him he hadn't even realized she possessed.

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"So, Forehead, how're things with you and Ka-ka-shi?" Sakura could almost shudder. Ino made his name sound like a dirty word, as though she were an actress paid for filmed sex. Her keen green eyes observed as the blonde-haired woman tongued the straw in her drink; a lazy attempt to bring it into her mouth, and conscious flirting with the busboy.

Sakura shrugged, and in a tone as nonchalant as she felt, replied, "Nothing. It's done." Her flippant attitude lasted a second and a half longer before ire took over, as Ino had spit the contents of her mouth onto the table.

"What?"

Sakura eyed the busboy's now disgusted visage and reassured him, "She sometimes swallows." She began to mop up spit and seltzer, pointedly ignoring Ino's incredulous look. Finally, the inevitable happened; she ran out of napkins.

"What, Pig?" Snapping her gaze from the sharp blue eyes burning a hole in her to fix on the ice machine, Sakura waited for the reply.

"I'm shocked!" The roseate snorted, and Ino quickly elaborated. "Not about THAT!" She turned to the busboy, alleviating some curiosity. "She's right, you know. I hardly ever spit. My mother told me it was a filthy habit." She ended with a coy wink. There would undoubtedly be a phone number with their check.

Ino's cerulean orbs fixed back on Sakura's lounging form. She had, over the past few years, tried to reconcile the bubblegum haired woman in front of her with the boy crazy girl who occasionally suffered from split personalities. Gazing at her now, one arm draped over the back of the cherry red upholstered booth, looking the epitome of cool and confident, Ino couldn't help but wonder if Sakura was purposely compartmentalizing her fling with Hatake." You're going to get wrinkles if you keep furrowing your brow like that." Ino immediately relaxed her forehead and subconsciously smoothed it, evoking a chuckle from the pinkette.

"So," Ino began after a moment, "What happened?"

Sakura sipped her iced mocha, and groaned in appreciation. "Well, he said the same thing he always said-"

"We need to stop. This is the last time," Ino mocked. Pulling her lower lash down, she remarked, "My eye! That's horseshit!"

Sakura sipped again, and nodded emphatically. "I know! Well, I decided, if he's going to deny the fact that he has even an iota of attraction to me, then I'm not going to waste my time waiting for him until he does!"

The girls high-fived, both making equal remarks regarding stupid men. Their shared cheesecake arrived, and the busboy-turned-waiter handed the girls their combined check. Sure enough, his contact information was at the bottom of their copy.

"Darling," Ino grabbed his wrist, making him blush. "If you keep bringing me cheesecake, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth!"

He leaned close. "I'll bet you tell that to all the cute waiters in Konoha."

Sakura smirked and tucked into the rich delight. "She does."

"But with you, I mean it!" The waiter shook his head as he walked away, chuckling to himself.

Ino turned back to her friend, noting the half-eaten cheesecake. She grabbed her fork and paused upon bringing it to her lips. "So, what are you going to do?"

Sakura shrugged. "Probably take on a mission or two, occupy my time at the hospital, and go out with you." Her companion's blue eyes flicked up to meet hers in surprise, and she waited for Ino to finish her mouthful.

"So, wait. My hermit workaholic best friend is actually going to get a social life?" Sakura's eyes rolled as Ino pumped her fist. "Hell yeah!" Taking another mouthful, Ino continued around it. "So you wanna go out tonight?"

"Why not?"


	2. The First Strike

**Alright, here's chapter 2. I've made these short and sort of cliffhanger-y for a reason (mostly because otherwise it will become wordy and redundant). The chapters may become longer, but I work a fulltime job, I'm a mom, and I'm still sorting out my life from moving, so please be understanding.**

**Don't forget to review. Thanks to Kagomaru, Maerchen, and the two other reviewers whose names have escaped me at the moment.**

**This has no beta. Anyone interested should PM me.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Don't sue me.**

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_I know you're just pretending death_  
_There's no window for mistakes_  
_I know you see right through me_  
_There's no promise left to break  
-The Birthday Massacre "Video Kid"_

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Chapter 2: The First Strike

Sakura squinted through the afterimages people left behind in the smoky dancehall. Going out with Ino had, so far, been a good idea. That is, until the blonde girl had found Genma at the bar and taken him to the alley. 'That girl,' Sakura thought, with equal parts envy and embarrassment. Only Ino could go out for a Hen Party, and take a man in the alleyway. In the end, though, it was fine, as she would always come back to Sakura gloating about poor size or lack of vigor.

By then, Sakura would be half-drunk and swimming in the past. It seemed it was about that point in the evening when Kakashi's face bubbled to the front of her mind, unwilled.

She could remember the first time she had come to Kakashi. He was not her first, but he treated her as a breakable object, nonetheless. Perhaps it had been the circumstances behind their tryst, accidental and full of mourning. He seemed to sense she needed comfort.

It had been at Sasuke's funeral procession when the idea had wedged itself into her brain. Sakura had realized long before that point that Sasuke was nothing more than a sibling or best friend, and she had stopped feeling the familiar sting of heartbreak and tug of longing. The rites had begun at the long-abandoned Uchiha Clan compound. The taller man had stood by her as she lit incense and walked the grounds to placate the spirits and make the Avenger's journey peaceful. He had murmured prayers along with her, when she walked in the main house and sprinkled clear, blessed water over the thresholds of each room, putting the memories of the tragedy at ease. At Itachi's old room, she sprinkled salt beneath each window, disallowing his spirit access to wreak havoc.

Sakura forced herself to ignore the burn marks over the family painting in the main room, and ignored the ANBU mask still tied around the bedpost in Itachi's. She almost lost it when she and Kakashi walked into Sasuke's parents' room and the bloodstains were still present. These things would come to haunt her dreams, but perhaps the most haunting, beyond the dust and cobwebs, was Sasuke's own room.

They paused at the closed screen. Sakura lifted her eyes to Kakashi, and he nodded in response, placing a large hand upon her shoulder. She felt the heat rising on her face, and her pulse quickened, but she simply passed it off as nervousness. Raising a shaky hand, Sakura pushed the rice screen slowly open. She gasped as Sasuke's scent invaded her nose, as familiar and fresh as if he were standing right before her. The first impression she had of Sasuke's room was that it was surprisingly clean for not having been touched in five years. She voiced this aloud to Kakashi, and felt him nod in response. He had already come to the same realization. Dust had not coated his armoire, and no cobwebs decorated his ceilings.

"Kakashi?" She asked, hoping her conclusion was wrong. "Why does it look like-"

"He regularly visited?" They made eye contact, and she could see the shadow his lips made as they pursed. "He did. There are fresh seals on the windows, no more than a month old." He entered more fully and gingerly stepped over a tripwire that had been strategically placed between the bed and armoire.

Upon the course of their inspection, they discovered the depth of the last Uchiha's insanity in his travel journal. In code only the members of Team Seven would be able to decipher, he discussed at length his plans with Orochimaru, his comprehension of the Snake Sannin's ultimate plan, and his feeling of betrayal as Uchiha Madara entered his life. He had not forgiven his brother, instead hating him more for being a "council dog" and turning against his clan. It seemed he followed Madara's ideals, and, in the last entry, laid out his plan for the end of Konohagakure, the village that had sheltered him and given him refuge in his darkest hours.

A sob bubbled in Sakura's throat as he openly apologized for his future actions against his former teammates, while simultaneously remarking, "If you cannot end your useless pursuit, I will not hesitate to kill you."

Kakashi's warm hand held hers gingerly as she re-read the notation in the margin for her, shaking like a leaf.

"Sakura, kill me when you have the chance. I will only give you one." Moreover, he had. Even then, Kakashi had saved her, as she had allowed her familial ties to cloud her judgment.

After allowing herself time to calm down, they exited the room, then the house, with a bundle of sage and thyme burning, to begin the procession. Each step was more painful than the last, and she felt the sting of finality every time her feet met the ground beneath her zori. Naruto had been shaking, despite being in the middle of Hi No Kuni's spring season. He had yet to learn of the journal containing a personal note to him as well as Sasuke's last will and testament.

As they walked toward the clan cemetery, Kakashi's sleeve brushed Sakura's own, and a blush erupted over her cheeks. He must have noticed, but assumed it had been the emotion of the ceremony, because he had wrapped a strong hand over her own delicate one, yet again.

Later that evening, Naruto had suggested they go to Sasuke's favorite bar, and drink to the good times. Team 7 would be whole for the last time, he had said. Sakura and Kakashi couldn't say no to that. How do you tell a bijuu who has just lost his brother that you would rather wallow in your own sorrow, thinking and re-thinking about his ghostly, portentous words?

Kakashi must have thought her unstable when they parted for the evening, because he had walked her home with a wary arm around her. When they had made it to her second-story flat, he had been stuck in an awkward goodbye. To save him the embarrassment of being tongue-tied (and because he just looked so damned adorable), she put both hands on his shoulders, looked him straight in the eye, and planted a shy kiss on his masked lips.

Shock flashed through his grey eye, and, as she stepped back, ready to turn and enter her apartment, she caught a glimpse of something more. Sakura shrugged it off mentally, and began to turn anyway, when she felt his hand circle her wrist. She let him turn her around and tried not to moan with excitement as he trapped her against her own door.

"Are you sure you want this?" He had asked her. He was always one step ahead of her, she realized, and he had probably known all night it would come to this. Before she even had a chance to answer, he had tucked his mask below his chin and kissed her again.

"Sakura? Sakura! EARTH TO HARUNO!" Ino's voice broke through her thoughts. Annoyed, Sakura snatched Ino's hand from in front of her face.

"So…" Sakura began after sipping her sake, "How's Genma?"

"A lot like my virginity; short-lived and disappointing."


	3. Aftermath

**Oh wow. Another chapter. This one is quite short, but it sort of needs to be. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, faved, and put this story on alert. I think it's so awesome that you guys actually like this, and really brings a smile to my face when I return home from work. I still don't have a beta, but my hubby is nice enough to give me criticism provided I read it to him (I blushed reading pr0nz).**

**BTdub: chapter starts with a flashback, italicized for your pleasure.**

**Disclaimer: No, really. I don't own it. It ownz me.**

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_Tell me are you still around_  
_Tell me where can you be found_  
_Is there anyone to find the way_  
_If you're gonna let me down_  
_tell me where can you be found_  
_Is there anyone to find the way_  
_-Luxx "Understand"_

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Chapter 3: Aftermath

_Waking up the next morning had been something akin to pulling the band-aid off a festering wound. Kakashi had shifted in his sleep waking Sakura up in the process when she realized someone else was in bed with her. She sat bolt upright and whipped her head to the side so fast, the room spun and a wave of nausea hit her as her neck popped. When her cloudy green eyes landed on the bare chest of the man next to her, the memories of the previous evening came rushing back. She placed a hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom with the speed only a jounin possessed. _

_He must have heard her retching, as he knocked on her door shortly thereafter. "Sakura? I'm… gonna go."_

_The only thing she could respond with before another round of vomit splashed into the toilet was, "Uh huh." She never even heard the door shut behind him. The strange thing was, at that point, she truly felt no attachment to him beyond that of an equal._

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"Shishou? You requested me?" Sakura entered the cluttered office shortly after knocking. She had received a summons from a masked ANBU she knew as Neko while she was on her way to the Yamanaka's shop. The lithe form, all black cotton and gleaming silver armor, had said nothing but her name before handing her the justu-sealed scroll. She had bowed in thanks, and was still bent when she felt the rush of wind signifying his exit.

Tsunade's head snapped up at the sound of her favorite student's voice. She blinked rapidly to refocus her eyes and a weary smile spread across her face. If one were to step back and really look at the Godaime Hokage, they would see how her time as the leader of Konohagakure had taken its toll on her. Her signature justu to turn back the effects of aging had started to lag. Smile lines and crows feet were beginning to deepen, and one would be able to see how the wrinkles cause by furrowing her brow took just a little bit too long to smooth out. One didn't even need to possess a kekkei genki to see her chakra levels were beginning to shift chaotically as the seal on her forehead waned.

"Hi, Sakura. How are you doing?" Tsunade's toned alluded to more than a simple polite greeting, but Sakura knew better than to lie to the woman who had become her surrogate mother when her own had died.

"I left him. But… I'm doing okay. I think," she sighed and rubbed her forehead, "I think I just need to take some time…" The older woman nodded understandingly and rose to walk around her desk. Placing a hand upon the pinkette's tense shoulder, Tsunade knelt down before her. Their eyes met and Tsunade was only barely prepared when the younger girl launched herself at her, sobbing miserably.

"Shhh… it's okay," Tsunade murmured, running her hands through Sakura's hair. They remained on the floor until long after Sakura's tears dried and her sobs turned to trembling. Even then, she continued to whisper comfort and present herself as a shoulder to cry on.

"Shishou?" Sakura's pitiful voice rose, cracking from the force of her cries.

"Mmm?"

"What am I gonna do?" She broke out of the protective hold her mentor had sheltered her in and buried her head between her knees. "How… I can't just stick around the village, doing my normal thing, or… but…" Her thoughts were muddled. Before then, her biggest fear was losing a patient on the table, and even that only manifested late at night when she tossed in bed. Now, she was more terrified of caring for someone who refused her, again. Her history tended to repeat itself, and she still struggled to break it's tenuous hold on her life.

"Well, I called you here specifically to offer Team Seven a mission."

"But, Shishou-!" Tsunade's hand cut her off and Sakura's mouth snapped shut like a trap.

"You will go ahead of the rest of Team Seven, having a head start of six months. Here are the mission specifics. Have the Yamanaka girl give you a hand with your disguise, and go over the plan with Naruto. Meet me back here in two days' time with various strategies and we'll decide on the best one to prepare for all contingencies. This is a high-risk mission, Sakura; S-class, really. No fuck ups." And with that, the blonde woman had gone from being her best friend to her leader in the time it had taken Sakura to breathe in once.

"Hai, Shishou." Sakura bowed with proper respect and turned toward the door. Upon reaching it, Sakura looked over her shoulder one last time at the swiftly aging Sannin. "Shishou? Thanks." With that, she was gone, eager to take her mind off of her own life and dive into her work.

Tsunade spun in her chair and gazed at the approaching sunset. She could hear the click of Tonton's hooves in the hallway, signaling Shizune's approach. Taking a swift shot of the sake hidden under her desk, she thought to herself, 'Don't thank me yet, kid.'


	4. So Much For Underneath the Underneath

**Wow! Thanks for all the reviews, faves, and alerts! Um, this goes back to their beginning, but from Kakashi's perspective. Things will start going back to current story timeline after this chapter. You just needed this, to witness the depths of their relationship; i.e. how it went from mourning to necessity. Emotion is a great motivator.**

**Please, your love keeps me going, and in-depth reviews are what nourish me... with that said, I'M HUNGRY!**

**DISCLAIMER: I can only wish on a little star to own Naruto, and Jiminy Cricket hates me right now for feeding his wife and kids to my baby tegu months ago.**

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_When you moved you moved me_  
_When you move you move me_  
_Move!_  
_"nothing comes from nothing" must mean something in the end_  
_To justify the means,_  
_I mean to break you, _  
_Need to hate you,_  
_Need to take this back,_  
_But taking is just forgiving if you're at the other end_  
_I won't pretend to know your feelings_  
_I could never break the chain_  
_I command you to move_  
_-Hurt "Ten Ton Brick"_

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Chapter 4: So Much For Underneath the Underneath

The second time Kakashi and Sakura had been together was after she had made ANBU. Kakashi wouldn't have even known had Naruto not grabbed him on the street and dragged him to the dancehall for her celebration. His avoidance of the roseate was understandable; they had committed the one atrocity and teacher and student never should, in his opinion. Therefore, when Naruto had almost passed him by, shooting a hand out at the last minute to grip his sleeve, Kakashi's muscles tensed like coils. He only prayed Naruto wouldn't go demon on the whole village in his quest to kick Kakashi's ass.

"Sakura did it!" Naruto damn near yelled in his ear. He cringed and wiggled his pinky in his ear canal, grumbling in ire. Even now, at nearly 20 years old, Naruto felt the need to yell about everything.

With a measured breath, Kakashi leveled his gaze at Naruto to keep from killing him or further exciting him. "Sakura did what?" Unfortunately, for the Copy Ninja, even his mere mentioning of his former student's name caused Naruto to bounce up and down like an excited puppy. Placing both hands together in a series of seals, too fast for the naked eye to see, Kakashi then placed a palm on the ground sucking the Kyuubi's human counterpart about waist-deep into the earth.

"Mou… Kaka-sensei! Let me out! What the hell?" Naruto's cries of indignation were beginning to attract attention. Kakashi simply did what he always did in these situations; he pulled out his book, and had a seat… on Naruto's head.

"When you can learn to quiet down, you will be released," The elite said simply.

After the initial shock wore off, and Naruto ceased flailing wildly at the Copy Ninja's legs, Kakashi finally received Naruto's news; Sakura had joined ANBU. Passed all the tests with flying colors, even. The last person to ace all the tests had been him, nearly twenty years ago. His one eye rolled up to the sky, annoyed.

'Really? I sleep with a girl, go through all the trouble of avoiding her, and now I find out she's just as smart as I am, and probably just as tricky. You make her perfect for me, except she's my former student.' He mentally shook his fist in the general direction of the sky.

"Dattebayo! We're all at the dancehall down the street having a party for her! I think," he began in a stage whisper, "she's going to get hammered tonight." Still attached to the ground at the waist, he rubbed his hands together. "Maybe I could get a kiss!" His excitement turned to pain when Kakashi's fist landed on his head, after the older ninja stood. "OW! What was that for?"

"Aren't you with the Hyuuga girl?" Kakashi asked, deadpanned. He couldn't explain why he pounded Naruto's head; his fist seemed to move of its own accord. Squatting down to be eye-level with the blond, he patted his head. "Don't worry; I'm sure her father won't castrate you for breaking her heart. He'll probably just seal you… or cut off all your chakra points… or-"

"I get it! I get it! No kisses from Sakura!" His hands covered his eyes as he envisioned the various punishments the Hyuuga leader would enact on him. Another thought came to mind, one, apparently to Kakashi, that made Naruto's eyes glint red for just a moment. "If I don't get Sakura Kisses, who will?"

With that, unnoticed to the blond man still stuck in the ground, Kakashi's eye widened, and he scratched the back of his head. "Heh, well, I might as well go and protect the poor girl." He began to walk off, leaving Naruto stuck in the middle of the walkway.

Amidst Naruto's cries of, "Kaka-sensei! BAKA! Get back here, I'll bite your kneecaps off! KAKASHI!" Kakashi realized, even with his avoidance of both the issue of sleeping with Sakura and Sakura herself, he had still been caught in a feeling of possession and protectiveness for the pink-haired now-ANBU.

He made his way to the dancehall with purpose, surprising many people on the street. As he entered the door, with a bit more gusto than necessary, his breath was taken away. As if in slow motion, Sakura turned to look at the door. She had been laughing at something the Inuzuka had been saying, and her eyes were still full of mirth. Her hair had grown in the past few months and sat in a loose plait. Tendrils had fallen free and were swinging about her neck, tickling like little fingers. His reverie was short-lived, however. When she caught sight of him, her eyes darkened, her mouth tightened, and she looked away.

'Well, shit,' he thought. Yep, she was mad at him. It had never occurred to him that she might actually be angry at his avoidance. Whether it was because he had deluded herself into becoming attached to him, or simply because she was angry at the situation itself, when Sakura was angry, the other person involved would be miserable.

Over the course of the afternoon and into the evening, she drank, laughed, and danced. Not that he'd noticed. As the night wore on, she had gotten looser limbed and pink-faced. It was about the time she had begun her fifth dance with Kiba that Kakashi had decided to cut in. "I want to give her a dance as congratulation."

"My ass," Sakura snorted underneath her breath. She nodded to Kiba and allowed Kakashi to place his hand in hers and the other around her waist. Her eyes were gazing over her shoulder, and her entire frame was tense. "I didn't know you could dance," she began after a few moments.

"I didn't know you wanted to be ANBU," he replied, equally cold and to the point. Her viridian eyes snapped to his face in a simmering glare.

"There are many things you don't know about me," she snapped back. His mind filled in a few of the blanks, such as the way she now fit nicely into his arms, and how the curve of her back led smoothly to the deliciously supple ass she now had.

"Yep, you're not that little girl anymore." She smiled faintly and nodded. He found himself wanting to get at the root of the issue. He knew why she had joined, but getting her to admit it would be like pulling teeth. He had to be smooth. "But some parts of the old Sakura still remain. Like your motivation," his dry remark made her look up at him questioningly.

"What do you mean? It wasn't a hard decision to make. The tests were a bit challenging, but I remembered the theories we had learned as genin, and the practices you had taught us, er, sort of…"

"Well, and the fact that I'm ANBU makes the whole dream. I'm really surprised you went for it though. I'm not really into clingy girls." That moment was when Kakashi realized he should have kept his trap shut. Her entire demeanor, which had relaxed over the course of their conversation, changed. Her body tensed up again, her eyes dulled as she fought her rising anger.

"Clingy girls?" she repeated.

"Well, yeah," he replied. "Isn't that a terrible reason to join the corps?" As soon as the last words left his mouth, his head snapped sideways painfully. He rubbed his jaw after popping it back in place. "Damn, Sakura that hurt!"

"You, Hatake Kakashi, are a fucking moron." He took stock of her balled fists, ready to defend him against any more angry girl attacks. With any luck, she'd forget her shinobi training and simply start slapping wildly. "You really think I'd join ANBU just to chase ass?" She shook her head, and stormed off.

Although Kakashi was considered a genius in some circles, among Sakura's friends and colleagues, he was just another idiotic guy. He spent the remainder of the next hour trying to find her signature pink hair, and finally gave up when Ino informed him he was an imbecile, and Sakura had gone home. He had to weigh his options now. Did he want Sakura to stay mad at him, or did he want to possibly reconcile a volatile relationship with his only female former student? Deciding the second option required less violence directed toward him, he too left the dancehall.

* * *

The walk to Sakura's apartment was not only reminiscent of their first tryst, but also a bit frightening, as petite fist-shaped craters had magically appeared in the side of a few buildings. He had tried to send a bunshin to deal with her, to keep himself from experiencing any physical pain (and, let's face it, to get home and to bed), but she seemed to know it was a clone.

"If he wants to talk, tell him to grow a pair," she had said, before violently dispelling the bunshin.

So there he stood, hand hovering before her door in an awkward angle, curious as to whether he should knock. His fist never landed on the door. As it turned out, when she opened the door clad in boy shorts and a tank top, the route to reconciliation lay in copious amounts of hot, dirty sex, after which Kakashi felt both terrible and terribly awesome.

In addition, in the five months that followed, the situation only became exacerbated as Sakura and Kakashi were paired on more ANBU missions.

* * *

**I know this is a really weird ending point, trust me, but this was more or less a filler chapter to explain how much of an idiot Kakashi actually is, and to illustrate how weird their situation is. You're not meant to sympathize or empathize with either one, but more or less to witness as they go from colleagues to something quite different.**


	5. Shock and Awe

**Oh my god, you guys are awesome. Thank you again to everyone who has faved, alerted, and reviewed. I accept PM's for any reason, and will gladly answer any questions you have (that I know the answer to).**

**I have also chosen my beta, but they were not utilized for this chapter. You will see DivineRedFire's name pop up more often.**

**Disclaimer: I only wish I owned this. Then I could also have the rights to the third Shippuden movie *drool***

* * *

_Tender moments with a burnt-out cigarette_  
_I'm dying to know what doesn't happen next_  
_Your drunken kisses leave a bitter taste on my lips_  
_It doesn't feel like me anymore,_  
_no lover coming to the door_  
_To rescue me in the middle of the night_  
_-Lennon "Brake of Your Car"_

* * *

Chapter 5: Shock and Awe

Naruto's eyes widened with excitement when Sakura approached him with the new mission. They sat at Ichiraku over lunch (or breakfast, in Naruto's case) going over the details of the who and how. Team Seven was to infiltrate the small town of Kyoko and, by proxy, the compound of a man suspected of selling kidnapped, brainwashed shinobi to the highest bidder for whatever was necessary. For a long time, Konoha was able to stay out of it, as Kyoko was located near Suna and thus, not in Hi No Kuni's jurisdiction. Then, the Daimyo's nephew went missing. An elite shinobi of mediocre chakra control, with no kekkei genkai, the black market sale of the Daimyo's own nephew was sure to bring in quite the revenue, regardless. When Tsunade had presented the mission, he had been missing for three days.

"You could always present yourself in town as a rogue shinobi looking for work and a place to hide out," Naruto offered. It really wasn't a bad plan, but it left way too much open to chance.

"I could, but with my hair, I'm easily recognizable. I could buy hair dye, but I would have to buy it every few months. Eventually, someone would notice. Not just that, but a_ girl_ goes rogue? I'm all over girl power or whatever, but even I think that's a little ludicrous." Sakura slurped her noodles as if to make a point. She had a spare folder set aside her bowl with a few blank sheets of paper for planning. The only thing that had made it successfully onto the paper was the doodle of vines and small flowers climbing up the left margin. And the one of her stabbing Naruto in the eyes with her chopsticks for suggesting she masquerade as a stripper.

After a few moments, Naruto slowly sat ramrod straight and turned to her. "I've got it," he remarked lowly around a mouthful of pork and egg. Trying not to look as grossed out as she felt, she motioned him to continue. "Do you still have your guitar?"

"Um, yeah?" She hedged, unsure of what Naruto was getting at. "I couldn't get rid of it. It's the only thing my dad gave to me." When they had been genin, Naruto would commonly poke fun at the roseate for her tendency to make up songs and music. Everyday things would inspire her; the sun poking through the trees over training field 3, the way a robin fed its young. But she realized that nothing was a greater inspiration than one lone Uchiha. She had a legal portfolio full of songs and poems about the ill-fated boy. And Naruto knew, and frequently taunted her about her 'unrequited word-sex' with Sasuke.

"Well, bear with me here. What if you posed as a musician?" He flinched, bracing for impact, but none came. When he chanced a glance at his pink-haired companion, she was deep in thought.

"Actually, that's not half bad. It accounts for the hair, and the way I would just randomly show up in Kyoko. Plus," she added, stabbing at the beef in her own bowl, "I could easily slip in and out of the bar scene, keeping an ear open. Hell, I might even be able to entertain the bastard doing this!" She clapped Naruto on the back in congratulations. Shortly thereafter, the number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja was admitted to the hospital with a dislocated shoulder and cracked rib.

* * *

Now that Sakura had her plan set for infiltration, she needed the duds to match. She made short work of delivering Naruto to the hospital, then walked to Ino's apartment. She figured the blonde woman would be getting ready to go out for the evening, or at least just getting home to do so.

Sure enough, when Sakura walked up the three flights of steps to Ino's door, the blue eyed beauty was just unlocking her door.

"Pig!"

"Whore!" Ino yelled back before realizing it was Sakura yelling out her much-hated pet name. "Oh, Forehead, it's just you."

"Thanks, bitch, it's nice to see you, too." Sakura replied, only half-serious, while she took her shoes off inside Ino's doorstep. "I have a project for you."

"No." Ino's tone was absolute.

"What?"

"No, Sakura. I'm not going to be your lackey again. Last time, I had to trail Pakkun through the woods while he searched for a place to take a crap, simply because you wanted to know where the Echinacea he had on his coat had come from. N-O." She paced her living room a few times before finally coming to rest on her couch.

"It involves a makeover," Sakura singsonged. Bingo. Ino's eyes lit up and Sakura could see that she had to keep from clapping happily. "I have a mission- a long term one. I have to infiltrate a village, gain trust, and then infiltrate a compound to- well, to do what we do. In order to do this, I need a good enough disguise." During her explanation, Sakura had laid out her notes from lunch.

Ino eyed the papers carefully, ideas circulating in her head. "So… you're going to be a musician?" At Sakura's nod she continued, "Um, well, what kind of music?"

Sakura's thumbnail ended up between her teeth as she contemplated telling Ino the truth. "Well, I… play… um… heavier music." Ino's head slowly swung her way.

"Like, 'I'm so emo, I cut myself in darkened corners' heavy, or 'you broke my heart, I'm breaking your face' heavy?"

"Well, to be honest, Ino, both." Ino nodded in confused understanding. She grabbed Sakura's hand and led her to her second bedroom, which had been converted into a walk-in closet. "Ino, this room always amazes me."

"Why? Because of all the amazing clothes and accessories?"

"No, because," she began, stepping over handbags and hat boxes, "you actually need to have a separate room for your clothes."

"Tch, and accessories." The girls giggled and set about assembling Sakura's disguise.

* * *

Kakashi knocked on Sakura's door, ignoring the looks from her nosy neighbor three doors down. As he waited for her to answer, he pondered her cherry-stained oak door. He had run into Naruto while he was out an about, and learned Sakura was leaving in the morning on a mission. Obviously, he couldn't know the specifics unless he was personally involved in the mission, but he had put together enough facts to know she would be travelling to Kyoko.

He remembered when they had been ANBU partners, not too long ago. The night before every big mission, she would be so nervous. Her arms would quiver like leaves in the wind, and her sharp green eyes would twitch toward every sound. He learned after their first mission that she could be calmed to a cool professionalism with a bit of… attentive handling. After a while, it had become habit to visit her like this.

He could only think she may need him now.

The door opened, and a pink head popped out. "Kakashi? What…"

He cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly. "I heard about your mission." Her eyes narrowed and he swore her teeth ground together.

"And, what? You thought you'd just come by?" She opened the door wider and he could see that she had covered most of her furniture with sheets. Her television was on, a movie paused. Takeout sat on her TV tray, and scented candles were burning, smelling faintly of ylang ylang and lemongrass.

"Well, I- uh-" He scratched his head nervously and eyed the hallway again. Damn, that nosy lady was still outside of her apartment.

"Hatake Kakashi, you are a fucking idiot." One hand lay on her cocked hip, the other cradled her forehead. "You thought you could come over here, get some ass, and leave? Don't think so. Goodbye, Kakashi." Unceremoniously, she turned and kicked the door closed on her way to the couch.

Kakashi stood there for a moment, staring at the door again. He waited to hear a sob, a whimper, _some_thing to prove she still wanted him. He sighed when her movie resumed and the sound of her chopsticks hitting the side of the takeout container echoed. So much for goodbye.

* * *

**AN: Again, thanks. Sorry if this was a bit short and quick. I wanted to get this out before I forgot my direction. aim is ixamxexhumed, facebook is facebook (dot) com (backslash) stacee (dot) magee. OH! read Cashmeritan's story "Rhymes of an Hour"**


	6. HalfLife

**Heya! Another chapter for y'all. Okay, so I have something to say. THANK YOU SO MUCH! So many people have favorited this, reviewed this, and added it to their alert list. I appreciate it immensely.**

**This is unbeta'd, as DivineRed has been quite swamped, so if you find errors, I tried.**

**For the record, alot of the names of these chapters, as well as the title of this fic are derived from songs. I will be including excerpts of the lyrics a the beginning of each chapter.**

**I do not own Naruto, but I caught a toad and named it Gamabunta. :P**

* * *

_Half light breaks with nothing wrong_  
_Just a corner of my bed where you don't belong_  
_It's kind of you to notice no one's dying_  
_You had your last laugh almost crying_  
_It's just your half life long to know_  
_And if you need a reason so it goes  
-Sneaker Pimps "Half Life"_Chapter 6: Half-Life

* * *

"Don't think so. Goodbye, Kakashi," Sakura replied derisively. She spun, her heart aching, and used the ball of her foot to gently close the door in Kakashi's masked face. She dared not look at him lest she see something she couldn't deal with, whether it be anger or loneliness.

Sakura padded toward her couch, pretending she hadn't just close the door in the face of the man she loved, and plopped down. Her takeout sat open on her TV tray, her movie remained paused, and she considered what she had just done. Step one in possibly getting over him, complete.

Picking up her remote, she unpaused her movie and resumed eating her Korean barbeque. She knew Kakashi was still outside her door, wondering what the hell just happened. Sakura tried her best to concentrate on the film, something about a girl stuck in a military fallout with three of her friends, but when she felt his chakra signature ebb away, her focus waned.

She would be gone the next morning; the only contact with Konoha would be through the letters she would be sending to her 'family' referring to her success in Kyoko. She had worked it out with Tsunade so any pertinent information would be relayed to Naruto. When he and Kakashi would see her next, six months will have passed.

An overwhelming feeling of loss overtook the green-eyed girl. With a sigh, she flicked the power button on her remote, and tossed her chopsticks back into the container. "Fuck this," she said to herself, "I'm going to bed." She dropped her garbage in the disposal beneath her sink, washed her dishes, and turned off the lights before travelling through her shoji doors to her room.

* * *

Her alarm blared her wake-up call at five-thirty the next morning, and she pounded it into silence. Not one to waste time, especially on the morning of a mission, Sakura rose and began to undress her bed down to bare mattress, and finally laid a sheet over the whole thing. Her sheets, she tossed in the hamper by her bathroom door. She hopped in the shower and wasted no time on frivolous things like conditioning. She would have a four day walk ahead of her; great hair would be the least of her worries.

When Sakura exited her bathroom, she quickly donned her new clothes and regarded her appearance in the mirror. Wasting no time, she double-checked her pack, put on some heavy kohl and grey/purple shadow, and slipped on her heeled boots. After having a bit of a fashion show the night before with Ino, it had been decided her own ninja footwear would suit her new persona nicely. In her own mine, she conceded that they were at least comfortable and were probably the only fashionable thing she owned.

As she reached her front door, she turned and gave her home of the last five years a once-over. Her kitchen sat off to the left, a true open-concept design. It's standard Formica counter bore the burn mark from fondue gone wrong at a hen party she had thrown two years back. She could remember Hinata's unladylike cursing when the heating candle tipped and some of the oil caught on fire. Sakura bit back a laugh as she recalled the village's most dangerous konoichis running around her apartment, screaming for towels and water. When Sakura calmly poured baking soda on the mess with a wry smirk, every other woman there, from Kurenai to Moegi, was blushing hotly.

Her eyes moved to regard the attached living room, only separated by the kitchen bar. Her worn green couch served as a reminder of Naruto's frequent ramen binges at her house, when he would gorge himself and pass out within minutes. She would be left to cover his unmoving lump of a body with her old quilt- something that had survived her childhood and adolescence, but just barely.

Her eyes shifted against her will to regard the throw rug at the foot of the couch. The memory came unbidden, but she couldn't help the mist that shrouded her eyes, turning them glassy.

Kakashi had come to her, then. It had been her first solo mission; an infiltration into Amegakure to obtain the poison that was killing Leaf shinobi on the front lines at the end of the most recent Ninja War. She had been sitting on her overstuffed couch, sharpening her kunai, when a knock sounded at her door. Sakura remembered placing her tools on her coffee table, curious as to who would be visiting her at near midnight.

She eyed out her peephole and almost immediately pulled her head back, slamming her hand against her heart. She took a moment to calm her breathing, and shook her head, eyes closed. Opening the door slowly, Sakura furtively met his uncovered eye. "Kakashi?"

He seemed to be as confused as she was as to why he was there. He nervously scratched his head, a habit he would never quite be able to get rid of, and bestowed an eye crinkle onto the perplexed konoichi. "I was… in the neighborhood…"

No sooner had he stepped inside and shut the door were they in each other's arms.

When she had awoken in the morning, he was gone. To Sakura, waking up alone was more painful than being in love with a man who did not love her back.

Steeling her reserve, she spun on her heel and opened the door. Sakura was sure of one thing; she needed this. Leaving Konoha at this point would be the best thing for her… eventually.

She took her time approaching the gates, mindful of all the memories around her. Ichiraku brought a smirk to her face, lightening her features exponentially. The small café where Ino spilled the beans about her supposed relationship with one Inuzuka Kiba made her suppress the bubbling giggle aching to leave her throat. Her footsteps slowed when the gatepost came into view. There, in front of the spots Izumo and Kotetsu normally napped, stood most of the genin class of her year. The Rookies, as they were known, all milled about chattering loudly. Sakura stopped dead in her tracks when she realized they were there for her.

"Hey! Forehead! Don't keep us waiting any longer! We've been here for an hour waiting for you!" Ino's shrill chastisement echoed across the large courtyard. Her face burned when everyone turned to look at her.

Finally finding her voice, she screeched back, "Pig! Shut your huge mouth or flies will get in!" A small amount of satisfaction accompanied the snap of Ino's mouth slamming shut. Everyone laughed and clapped Sakura on the back as she surged forward to meet the group.

After many heartfelt goodbyes, including a tearful one from Ino, Sakura was off. Disappointment was set in her shoulders, her form stiff as she faded into the distance.

He sighed at the back of his former student turned lover. Had she stuck to his teachings, she would have noticed him atop the roof of an apartment complex nearby. He continued to watch her retreating form until well after she was out of sight. A feeling of immense emptiness filled him, unexplained and unwanted.

Kakashi had the strangest feeling this would be the last time in a long time he would see her smile.

* * *

**Ack! Depressing! It's okay, the next chapters will make up for it.**


	7. Discretion

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the songs featured. They are the properties of Masashi Kishimoto and the bands, respectively.

AN: Anything italicised is sort of an Inner interjection into the situation... other than that, I hope you enjoy the lengthy chapter. Well, lengthy for me, at least.

* * *

"Maybe we're victims of fate  
Remember when we'd celebrate  
We'd drink and get high until late  
And now we're all alone  
Wedding bells ain't gonna chime  
With both of us guilty of crime  
And both of us sentenced to time  
And now we're all alone  
Protect me from what I want...  
Protect me protect me."

-Placebo "Protect Me From What I Want"

Chapter 7: Discretion

* * *

As Sakura walked away from the village, she rehashed the mission specifics in her mind, if only to avoid the pain of being unnecessary. She was to go to Kyoko, and garner information on the culprits who were kidnapping shinobi as weapons. Sakura had decided the best possible solution was to simply go as a musician and, with Naruto's help, had come up with a back story. She would not hide that she was a Konoha citizen, but she would display distaste for the practices of the current Hokage, Tsunade.

As she went through her story repeatedly, committing it to memory, the parts of her she kept hidden railed against the lover she had once had. Kakashi hadn't shown up to even see her off. Anger slowly seeped into the hurt she felt. The lazy bastard was probably still sleeping, trying to forget the fact that he had basically propositioned her the night before.

A low hanging tree limb as big around as her head felt the force of her resentment as it suddenly snapped in half.

If she hadn't been so engrossed in her brooding, she would have realized she was already entering Tanzaku. The sounds finally registered to her and she looked up sharply. The mechanical dings of the slot machines set up in small gaming parlors mixed with the Pachinko noises, granting Sakura a mild headache from the din. She took large strides, attempting to cross the gaming district without incident. One more step and she would be near the variety of hostelries and inns available to travelers.

Just one more step.

"Oi! Sakura!"

_Kiba._

Sakura whirled around on her heel to greet the Inuzuka heir. Any number of smart replies were lost on her tongue when she caught sight, and smell, of the girl that Kiba was dragging around with him. When the other woman met Sakura's eyes, the mildly annoyed look turned to pure hatred.

"Kiba, you dumbass! It's rude to talk to other girls in front of your… date?" Sakura decided it was better to voice her curiosity at this woman's position. A self satisfied smirk bloomed on the redheaded female's face at the insinuation that she and Kiba were more than a one-nighter.

"Nah, she's my Tuesday." The smirk turned to astonishment, and the poor young woman swiveled her head none too slowly to regard Kiba. He chuckled and scratched the back of his head, oblivious to the girl's plight.

"Your Tuesday?" A resounding slap turned the heads of many bystanders. "Now you just wait a minute! I am the niece of a feudal LORD!" Her voice became swiftly louder and higher in pitch as her anger got the best of her.

"Raiya, really-" Kiba tried to protest, his arms easily deflecting the wild slaps she was directing at him.

"No, Kiba. I am nobody's whore!" Raiya spun on her heel after delivering a well placed kick and, tugging her almost indecent yukata over her skinny thighs, moved off toward the Red Light District. She was almost out of hearing range when Kiba put his hands over his mouth.

"Coulda confused me with that scrap you're wearing, you painted up tart!" A finger was easily slung in his direction as the girl smiled at a man leering at her.

"A painted up tart?" Sakura asked, confused at Kiba's wording. "Since when do you use terms like that?"

He met her eyes with a wolfish smile, tinged with pain. "When you get kicked in the jewels, you use whatever you have in your arsenal." He stood finally and put his arm amicably over her shoulder. Upon seeing her look of disbelief, he exclaimed, "What?"

"So… your balls were the innocent bystanders of romantic warfare?"

"Tch, there was no romance involved, Sakura." The way he said it really grated on Sakura. He acted like she was just a naïve little girl, still obsessed with romance and fairie tales. She had stopped believing in those the moment Sasuke had tried to kill Naruto when they first discovered where Orochimaru's lair was. She remembered that day very clearly, and could almost taste the sweat upon her upper lip, recalling how she ran from room to room in the vast cavern with Naruto.

'_Not this one.'_

'_Not here.'_

'_We'll find him, Sakura.'_

'_Sasuke-kun.'_

'_Sakura.'_

"Sakura?" Kiba's worried voice trailed into her thoughts like a ten-ton brick through a tea kettle, smashing the memories from years ago to dust. She only then realized they had stopped walking, to rest in front of a small, somewhat broken down inn.

"I'm okay. It's just been a long day already, and I would love nothing more than to hunker down with some grub and relax in a bath." The brown haired man nodded knowingly, without really knowing anything at all. How was he to know a man 14 years their senior had broken Sakura's heart? He couldn't. He'd been gone for the past year in Mizugakure researching the kekkei genkai of the Hino clan.

"Grub we can do. There's a restaurant inside we can eat at." Sakura was grateful for Kiba's friendly face. It was just a shame she had to lie straight to it.

"Sure, Kiba. Let's go."

* * *

Dinner had been filled with laughter and nostalgia, but Sakura had to fight back the petulant face she had wanted to make as he brought up the Chunnin exams and their own brief time dating. He had been a very conscientious lover, more concerned with her needs than his own, but he simply wasn't inventive enough to keep her attention for long. They had begun dating as friends, and eventually split as friends, and no one had known they were any different. If there was one thing ninja excelled at, it was the art of tact and discretion. Relationships in the shinobi world were very much akin to the missions they undertook; perfunctory and on a need-to-know basis.

Dessert came and Sakura could sense the change overcome her companion. Her double mocha cheesecake suddenly lost its rich texture, the flavor becoming nothing more than chalk on her tongue. Her head slowly raised and she fought to maintain eye contact.

"What?" The man across from her shook his head slightly and smirked.

"I didn't think I'd run into you in any other place than the hospital, is all." His eyes dipped to his dessert as he tucked into it. Around a mouthful, he continued, making eye contact through his thick lashes. "What I mean is… what are you doing outside of the village?"

Slowly, she nodded, taking another unappetizing bite o her own treat. "I get it. Why am I traipsing around the countryside instead of traipsing around the village?" A false grin split her face, before she suddenly dropped it, as though deep in thought.

"Sakura? Oh man… I didn't say something to…" He dropped his fork to his plate, the metal kissing porcelain with a sharp noise. His hand reached to grasp hers, and she pretended to pull away, as though she were afraid of his intimacy. In truth, part of her was. Kiba Inuzuka was a ninja before he was a man. He was taught to kill and gain information even before he had learned how to shave. It would be careless of Sakura to assume he wasn't gathering information even on his way back to the village they called home. Even out to dinner with a friend.

"It's fine, Kiba, I'm just… I'm tired is all." She deliberately looked to the left, forcing Kiba to believe she was lying. And she was, just in regards to a different subject. As long as Kiba thought she was keeping a terrible secret, she could go onward with her real mission without the threat of friends jeopardizing it.

"Is that all?" His whispered words reached her ears with far more intensity than if he had yelled them. He was feigning hurt, silently asking her, 'Don't you trust me?'

"I…" She allowed herself to trail off, as though unsure of what to say. Unsure of whether or not he would judge her based on what she was about to divulge.

"Sakura, you can tell me anything. You know that." It was true, she did know. She had been fortunate to run into Kiba in Tanzaku, and not, say, Shikamaru, who would have known her plan before she had even schemed it. She sniffled, and hid her face behind her hair with a simple twitch of her neck.

"I'm just… I'm…" Kiba's hand squeezed in genuine concern and somewhere in Sakura's chest, a muscle twitched and beat rapidly. His other hand reached across the table to cradle her cheek and force her to look at him. Sakura's crocodile tears shone crystalline in the low lighting of the eatery.

"Oh, Baby… you can tell me." With that, she broke down, controlling her shoulders and sobbing with gasping breaths. She squeezed her eyes shut, much like she had done in the past after Sasuke had defected and she would break down.

There was a very special place in hell for women like her, she was sure.

"I did something so b-bad…" she sobbed. He very nearly leapt up from his side of the booth to sit next to her. Her senses were assaulted with his very male scent as he lifted his arm to put it around her. He smelled of deep forests and sunshine, all fancy free and adventurous. The candy haired woman buried her face in his chest.

"You can tell me," he murmured against her hair. Kiba kissed the top of her head, and she swore she could feel his slightly chapped, full lips as though they were against her naked skin. She barely registered the spark of arousal that settled low in her belly, a reminder of what they had once had.

"I… I've been… I'm not…" She searched for the words she needed to say. The words that would allow him to go back to the village without threat of him coming back for her. "I've been banished," she whispered finally, knowing his keen ears would pick it up.

"Excuse me?"

She raised her tear-stained face to his, finding him only centimeters from her. The stone in her belly suddenly became a boulder as she pushed the thought of his lips on hers to the back of her mind. "I-"

"I heard you. What happened?" His voice became insistent, demanding, and she pretended to shrink back in trepidation. His bright brown eyes stared into her green ones, searching for any hint at a lie. Idly, she realized if there were one thing she had learned from Kakashi, it was how to conceal emotion.

"I had been cleaning Shishou's office. It's so stupid, never mind." She attempted to shrug him off, only to find, to her relief, that he was still holding fast to her shoulders. She now had him at her mercy, believing everything she said to be gospel. He motioned her to continue, and she did, with the most asinine story.

"I had been cleaning Shishou's office because Shizune had taken time off for once, and was almost done. I had found one of her robes tucked into her chair, and had been trying to hang it up. When I went to her bureau, I must've hit a latch without knowing it, because a false back opened containing scrolls and tomes."

"Sakura?"

"I… Kiba… I stole one of the forbidden jutsu that day. Nothing too serious. Just the ability transfer objects from one place to another."

"That doesn't sound so bad," he remarked oh so helpfully. She let loose a sardonic laugh and picked at the table.

"Yeah, except you don't even have to know where the object is in the first place." Heaving a sigh, she continued on, "I wasn't going to do anything with it! I just… I wanted to be et in on the secret too. Naruto uses forbidden jutsu all the time, as do the Hyugas and Kakashi-s-sensei." She stumbled over Kakashi's honorific unexpectedly.

"So… what happened?" Slowly, his arm was loosening up. She didn't hold it against him. No one stole forbidden jutsu without some sort of punishment, the least of which is being ostracized by their peers.

"The Elders cried out for prison, stating that I had committed a crime against the state, and that my intentions could be less than pure. Homura was especially tenacious, citing the feelings I had for Sasuke, and how I may defect as well, regardless of the period of time that has passed since he left and came back."

_Dead_.

"Tsunade did what she could, short of prison. She… Kiba! She banished me! I'm her apprentice, and she banished m-me…" Sakura feigned another set of sobs, trying very hard to portray the spoiled mini-Tsunade everyone thought her to be. Even in the short time they had dated, more than once, Kiba had alluded to the favoritism shown to Sakura by her mentor.

_If only he had known, THEY had known, it was not Tsunade that showed me favor._

"So," Kiba began awkwardly after calming Sakura down. "What are you going to do now?"

The pinkette sighed and ran a hand through her hair, ratty from the day of travelling. "I was thinking… Tsunade didn't freeze my accounts, so I was able to take all of my earnings with me. Um… I'm… I'm going to Kyoko." Kiba's chocolate eyes widened significantly, and he sputtered in indignation. Sakura raised her hands, still trapped beneath his arm, in a placating manner. She refused to make any more eye contact, instead allowing her hair to once again shroud her face.

"It's okay, Kiba. I have a plan. But… I… I can't tell you. You already know too much. If enemy shinobi were around to hear… Kiba… " her emerald eyes conveyed her point perfectly. If any enemies of Konoha should find out that Tsunade had banished her own apprentice, Sakura would be a target for recruitment. Or assassination. What better way to ruin one of the great superpowers than to kill the leader's favorite student and surrogate daughter?

After a moment's thought, Kiba nodded decisively. "You're right. We need to be very careful from here on out."

_We?_

"Kiba, you're not going." Those four words made her feel like she had just kicked his puppy. His knuckles turned bone-white with the force of his clenching, and she could make out the low, steady noise of his teeth grinding. She sighed and slumped her shoulders again, this time in mock defeat. "Fine, Kiba… but… can… um…" Sakura gazed intently at him from beneath her lashes, the perfect coquette.

He met her gaze with one of his own, and the same boulder of arousal became a landslide. His brown eyes had turned almost black as he sniffed her scent. He could smell her excitement, and was subtly letting her know he wanted her too. Her eyes darted to his lips as he licked them, and she mimicked the movement perfectly.

"We'll leave tomorrow," Kiba replied to her unspoken question, laying down some ryo for their meal and directing her to his room.

* * *

The curtains blocked out what Sakura was sure was a dreary day. She could make out the cold light filtering in the cracks between curtain panels, and she shivered in response. Turning her back, the petite girl stepped toward the bathroom. She gazed at her reflection in the mirror and would have been disgusted with what she saw had she not had that pesky affair with that pesky Copy Ninja.

Now, she simply saw the woman she had become; devoid of illusions, unafraid to admit attraction, need, and want. When they had arrived at Kiba's room, the dog-nin had wasted no time divesting her of her clothing, stating, 'it just got in the way.'

His clothes followed shortly after, and she was astride him on the bed, biting and licking his neck, chest, and stomach. When she took him into her mouth, his hands clenched in her hair, and she could feel the dampness between her thighs at the sharp sting that accompanied his sweet abuse. She suppressed the need to gag simply to drive him to the edge, and only to watch him suffer as she refused to allow him to meet his oblivion in her mouth.

When he entered her, it was rough, and true to his clan. She allowed him to be behind her, because to look him in the eye would break her heart even more than it already was. When she came, she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. She would not cry out Kakashi's name.

When he came, it was hard, fast, and on her back. A shower washed away the evidence of her weakness and his nepotism. He was a hypocrite, but he was the best kind; the kind that knew, but still continued to be so. As long as he would continue with her in the future, he could be whatever he wanted, whether hypocrite or not.

Kiba watched her while she was in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. He harbored no illusions about last night. He had known before they had even gotten to his room he would not be travelling with her. Instead, he contented himself with dreams of what could have been.

A headache was already settling behind his eyes, so he turned over, back to her. He refused to watch the once vivacious female wither even more under her own scrutiny. He sensed her come up behind him and, when he felt the bed dip under her weight beside him, he fought the urge to turn back over and catch her in his arms.

Goose pimples erupted across his shoulders when she touched her surprisingly cool fingertips to the base of his neck. When he would awaken four hours later, his only memories of the candy-haired girl would be a whispered, "Thank you."


	8. 3 Libras

I don't own Naruto... Or Kaka-sensei *whimper*

_"__Threw you the obvious and you flew_

_with it on your back, a name in your recollection,_

_thrown down among a million same._

_D__ifficult not to feel a little bit disappointed_

_and passed over_

_when i've looked right through_

_to see you naked and oblivious_

_and__ you don't see me."_

_-"3 Libras" A Perfect Circle_

**Chapter 8**: 3 Libras

"Wait, Hoshi, do that again?" Sakura's interested voice flitted through the subconscious of the brown-haired young man across from her. They had settled in to play around with their instruments, and maybe write something for once. The equally brown eyed male eyed her uncertainly. "What?" He glanced at his fingers on the frets and tried desperately to remember what he had just played that had garnered the attention of the roseate across from him.

She made a couple of noises to simulate what he had done, and mimicked his finger picking. "I don't know. That _thing_."

Recognition dawned on him. The series of chords had been something he toyed around with hoping one day to find the words to accompany them, but they had simply become something he played while thinking. Absently, he placed his fingers on the second fret.

"Um, okay. So you pluck your e-strings together, and then gently pluck..." The explanation continued for the next hour, as Sakura attempted to learn the complicated melody.

"Baa-chan?" Tsunade's eyebrow twitched at the long-worn nickname bestowed on her. Her amber eyes rose to regard the blonde young man standing uncertainly in her office. She subconsciously glanced at his toe, digging into the worn maroon runner she had placed from the door to her desk when she had awoken some six years prior. Sighing, Tsunade cradled her head in one hand, elbow meeting her desk in a v.

"You're active." With those two words, a reaction was triggered in Naruto. His demeanor changed from uncertain and curious, like a child, to serious and determined, like the shinobi he was trained to be.

"Any new intel?" His normally bright voice was now accompanied by a steel edge. The effect would have been chilling were the Slug Princess not the one giving him the order to move.

She shook her head slowly. Tsunade had desperately wished Sakura had sent new information with her letter home, but alas, it was simply the same old 'hey, how are ya?'. Communications between Sakura, now stationed in Kyoko, and Konoha hadn't ceased at all in the three months she had been in the city. Keeping up the pretense of writing to her only guardian, her 'aunt', Sakura had written everytime she received a new letter from home. Enclosed in the almost weekly letters, Sakura encoded several details of the city, its' inhabitants, and the place she found work.

If Tsunade had known what Sakura's plan was, she would have promptly shut down the operation and offered it to another ninja. But when Sakura's letter informed her not only of her new occupation as a bartender and sometimes songstress of a bar/club named "That Place," but of her plan to still be Sakura, the ex-nin of Konoha, Tsunade was forced to grin and bear it.

"She is still at 'That Place' and has now found a group of people to perform with. They've garnered quite the following, but she assures me her, ugh, I hesitate to call it this- her _band_ knows she is- _was_- a ninja, and she may see her former countrymen here and there."

"Oh," Naruto replied, a little too at ease with the situation. The pieces clicked into place.

"You knew she was going to be masquerading as herself?"

"Uh..." The Kyuubi vessel scratched his head in a very good pantomime of his ex-sensei turned teammate. "Well-"

"And you didn't stop her?" The furious woman pounded the desk as she jumped to her feet. A splinter sounded and Naruto felt his head would be next if he divulged the true reason Sakura had chosen her role in Kyoko. He knew he wasn't too bright, but even a deaf, dumb mute would know better than to enlighten Tsunade to the fact that it had been his idea in the first place.

He wisely stayed silent as he waited for Tsunade's anger to ebb and eventually flow away. When she had calmed, she sat once again, making it a point to smooth her robe, as if calming her temultuous temper.

"I guess there's no changing it now." Tsunade suddenly felt at least ten years older. She reached for the small porcelain cup to the right of her, and pulled out a small glass bottle, lined with woven straw to keep the contents at the desired temperature. "Just," she began, raising the now-full saucer to her lips, "Just bring her home."

The unsaid 'to me' quickened Naruto's feet as he made his way through the crowd to Kakashi's apartment.

When the silver-topped man cracked his door, a solemn "We're on," widened his coal orb and elicited a nod.

"Tomorrow, 6am?" Kakashi asked, before closing the door. The question was arbitrary, as he already knew the answer.

Be on time, or be left behind.

"He's WHAT?" The shriek let loose by the blonde woman caused the ponytailed male sharing tea with her to jump.

"Shit, Ino! I think Iwa heard you. Wanna try for Ame next?" Shikamaru grumbled, wiggling an irritated pinky in his ear. The buxom woman across from him heaved her breast as she attempted to gulp the breath that had been stolen from her in her surprise.

"Naruto's leaving?"

Shikamaru fought the urge to roll his eyes. Of course she would be concerned about Naruto. "Yeah, he's going to back Sakura up."

"But... He never said anything," Ino whimpered. Shikamaru's eyes sharpened, then turned sad, unnoticed by the blue-eyed vixen sitting across the table. "Damn him. Hey, Shika?" Her head raised to regard him, and he steeled himself into the picture of serenity. "I'm sorry, but-"

"Yeah, go." He waved her off. As she stood to go, she placed her hand over his as if to apologize for ending their tea so abruptly. Without another word, she turned, and rushed out of the restaurant.

"Just go," he whispered brokenly, staring at her back forlornly.

He should have been used to this kind of treatment. He should have walls around his heart when it came to this girl and her flighty nature. Unfortunately, that was the thing he loved the most about her.

Konoha in the early stages of dawn reminded Kakashi of her hair, all pink and wispy. Even the grass resembled her eyes when she was angry, a deep forest green with smatterings of dew that looked like the angry tears he had seen the night before she had heart ached, thinking of her.

When Naruto had shown up on his doorstep, his heart had skipped. Before the younger male had even said the words, he had known they were going to Kyoko to back Sakura up. Even simply thinking about their mission, he felt giddy and a little nervous.

What would their reception be like? He immediately chastised himself. This was a mission! Their reception would be cold and professional, as it should be.

Kakashi wished he could be okay with that fact, but the cold reality was that the idea of being ignored in favor of an S-class criminal was more than just a little terrifying.

So lost in his thoughts, Kakashi never noticed the blond ball of energy that had bounced to his side until Naruto's large hand gripped his shoulder. "Ready?"

Kakashi nodded, chancing a glance back at the rising sun. "Let's go."

"We're coming, Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled out the gates of Konoha. A few lights popped on, and, in the distance of the city, someone shouted, "Just leave already!"

"Come out here and say that, baka!" Before Naruto could scream another word at the offending (and justified) person, Kakashi had wrapped his hand around his mouth and was dragging him through the forest.

Tsunade turned down the covers of her bed, the creme sheets contrasting with the chocolate brown. Leaning across the bed, she lit the candles on her side tables. Almost immediately, the scent of lavender and vanilla invaded her sinuses. Within minutes, she was reclined comfortably against the headboard, a stack of letters in her lap.

Opening the first, she began to read.

_'Aunt Katsu-_

_It has been four days since we've last met, and it already feels like an eternity. I miss everyone already. My first day out, you wouldn't believe it! I ran into a huge white dog. Damned thing wanted to follow me everywhere. After a while, he finally left me alone, but..._

_Other than that, the trip was pretty uneventful. Thought I heard a couple old hawks cawing, not too far from here. When I find what I'm looking for, I may just check them out; might be a nest._

_Well, Aunty, I'm exhausted. Just wanted to let you know I've arrived safely. I'm staying above That Place. I... I miss you already._

_Love, your Sakura.'_

The code was easy to figure out. Tanzaku, she met Kiba, who had wanted to accompany her. It was obvious she was omitting something. Given their previous relationship, they had sex. Considering the state Kiba had returned in, she had pulled her now-famous disappearing act. Before arriving in Kyoko, Sakura apparently had heard what had sounded like the remnants of Sasuke's old team. She planned to check it out after they completed the mission.

As the letters continued, Tsunade learned of Sakura's plan, her new band, her job at That Place, and even some of the friends she had made. One thing always remained; her signature. _'Love, Your Sakura.'_

She heaved a sigh before extinguishing the tiny lights around her. Just like with Jiraiya, she had a terrible feeling.

"Alright, I think I got it now," Sakura stated, before putting a cigarette to her lips. It had been a habit she rarely had partaken in at home, but it seemed to ingratiate her with the nightlife of Kyoko. Everyone was doing it, and she had found something beautiful in the tendrils of grey that wove to the ceiling, like little ashy fingers raising toward the sky to find peace. She did have one advantage on everyone else, however, she could heal the scarring in her lungs.

As Hoshi played the song again, the words seemed to come from nowhere, and with them, the thoughts of the shinobi who had stolen her heart.

Sorry if this was formatted oddly. I have to write this on my phone as my laptop is busted. If anyone has questions, feel free to PM me. Reviews, I love them. Thank you to everyone who has put this story on alert, and who has favorited it. It means more to me than you could guess.

~FK


	9. Trash

Ugh, another phone update. I really dislike having to do these, because I feel like I require the line breaks. Um, so excuse the terrible formatting.

Also - congratulations to Eldrfire for winning the fan favorites award in the KakaSaku LJ's Summer of Love. Both yours and WishingAgain's fics are up for nitpicking for the grand prize(s).

Standard disclaimers apply. I'm broke, don't sue me.

Chapter 9: Trash

_"These little girls, they make me feel so goddamned exhilarated._

_I fill them up, I can't give it up, the pain that I'm just erasing._

_I tell my lies and I despise every second I'm with you,_

_So I run away and you still stay, so what the fuck is with you?_

_Your feelings, I can't help but rape them_

_I'm sorry, I don't feel the same._

_My heart inside is constantly hating._

_I'm sorry, I just throw you away."_

_-Korn "Trash"_

Sakura realized she was in love with Kakashi the second to last time they were together. Something in his ministrations had changed. He had shifted from pushing her roughly against a wall to playing her body like an aficionado. For the way he made her feel, the man may as well have been.

She mused on the slow, careful way he had held her, trembling so slightly, as she was washing out a glass at the bar. In the low-lit atmosphere of That Place, she envisioned the darkened bedroom at Kakashi's.

The roseate remembered him holding her in their shared after glow, murmuring nonsensical words in her ear. She had always loved his voice, even more so with the husky undertone of desire lacing his tembre. Her small smile dropped when she remembered more of what he was saying.

"We have to stop this, Sakura." Even now, she felt he was placing responsibility on her to end their affair. As though he would simply go back to his philandering the next day without missing a beat. And he had.

The night after she resolved to leave him, she had seen him at The Silver String. His masked face had been buried in the neck of one of the waitresses. Sloppy and giggling, the young brunette stumbled into the stock room, masked Jounin in tow.

Sakura herself had caught Ino's eye after that. The blonde woman had been every bit the best friend, patting her hand and offering to walk her home. The sentiments had only lasted as long as it had taken Naruto to leave with a civilian woman of his own.

After that, the two women had drank until last call, singing bawdy songs and loudly complaining about insensitive men.

"Dangly downs are only good for one thing!" Sakura announced to a bar almost full of people possessing said anatomy.

"Obviously not even really good at that," Ino murmured, motioning to the disappointed woman now exiting the stock room. Sakura's eyes narrowed unknowingly, as the waitress wiped at her eyes and plastered on a fake smile for the rest of the room to see.

When Kakashi had exited a few minutes later, the waitress's smile wavered and she brought her attention sharply back to her patrons. Shortly thereafter, Kakashi left, another woman on his arm.

This time, with strawberry blonde hair, bordering near Sakura's own bubble gum hue.

When the waitress from Kakashi's store room romp approached the girls to refill their drinks, her smile dropped into a frown when she recognized Sakura.

"You're a terrible woman," she said, while pouring a pale ale into Sakura's stein.

"How do you figure?" Ino butted in. The girl, Lin, by the name tag pinned to her apron, glared at Ino's intrusion.

"Because," she began matter-of-factly, "Pinky, here, ruined the Copy Nin for the rest of us." Lin jumped back as Sakura spit the contents of her mouth in her vague direction.

"Wh-what?" Amidst Sakura's sputters, Ino chuckled like a mad woman.

"Lemme guess, he said her name." Ino declared, wringing her hands together.

"And then some. He seemed embarrassed by it. It would have been endearing any other time." Lin sighed and began to meander away.

"Wait!" Sakura yelped, a little too loudly. A touch too desperately. Lin paused and gazed back. The sharp look in her green eyes- she had green eyes!- was immediately replaced with a mixture of empathy and sympathy.

"He... Haruno-san, that man is not the man to love." Sakura was stunned into silence. Love? No, she didn't love Kakashi. Far from it. She simply preferred the way he made her insides turn gelatinous, and how his calloused hands felt rubbing up her back, only to bury themselves in her hair. Not to mention the way he moved her hair behind her ear in the after glow, or when...

Oh shit. "Shimatta..." Ino's crystalline eyes moved back to regard Sakura.

"Forehead? Are you okay? You look kind of pale. Are you sick?" The blonde placed the back of her hand on Sakura's forehead and immediately took it back. "Eww! You're sweating!" She exclaimed, wiping her hand with a napkin.

Sakura stood abruptly, knocking her stool backward.

"Sakura?" Ino stood, as well, reaching for her friend.

"Ino... I- I gotta go!"

"Oh, well, shit. The bathroom's that way." Ino pointed toward the nearest end of the bar, near the now defiled store room. Sakura blanched even more as she finally noticed her own jealousy, which had only gained fire with the consumption of all the alcohol. She stumbled backward into a man she would later recall as Iruka-sensei, and wove her way to the door.

"Sakura!" Ino's voice was drowned in the masses of people, as the petite pinkette tripped outside.

Kakashi had never felt dirtier than he did at that moment. His companion had left some twenty minutes ago, and he was left with only his morbid thoughts to entertain him.

'She was only 19.' He was sick with himself. He had slept with someone 16 years his junior. A part of him recognized he had only done so to forget about the woman who was 14 years younger than himself, but that part was swiftly kicked down in denial. If Sakura knew...

Of course she knew! She was sitting right in the bar, watching as he not only entertained the young waitress, but as he left with a girl whose looks were not too dissimilar of her own.

He was a sick, sick man.

"Was she worth it?" A voice entered his thoughts. He opened his mismatched eyes to regard the woman lingering uncertainly on his fire escape. Her green eyes were bright with unshed tears and her full lips were thin with something else. Maybe fear of his answer, maybe jealousy. Knowing her, a mixture of the two, and more.

He rolled his eyes back toward his ceiling. "You don't think my elderly neighbor is worth the dog sitting? I'm appa-"

"You know who, Kakashi." She didn't even bother to hide the anger, now. "Did you even know her name?"

"..."

"Tch, I though as much." She sucked her teeth at his as she stepped into the room. He didn't move, but the slight tension in his muscles confirmed he did not want her there. It was too soon. He hadn't showered, his previous companion's scent was stuck on him like a thick, wet blanket of Chanel and regret.

Rei. Her name was Rei. But he would not tell that to Sakura, fully believing if he put a name to his indiscretions, they would never leave him.

"So," he said after a moment, "what are you doing here?" He flinched when she sat on the bed by his bent elbows. Her fingers clutched at his rumpled comforter, knuckles turning white, before she sighed and finally released it. Her head was cocked toward the full moon outside, and he would later recall how his breath caught at the tragic beauty set in her face.

Snapping to, she turned toward him. Her eyes, the windows to her emotions, were hidden behind her bangs. Finally, she lifted her head.

"I'm here to say goodbye." She bent and kissed him softly. The joining of their lips broke something in Kakashi, and he raised himself onto his elbows to keep her from moving away. The vest she wore, red like her lips, was tossed haphazardly behind her. His tongue ventured out, and, when she sighed into the kiss, he ended it with a pop.

"We can't." Regardless of his words, he gripped her head to roughly kiss her again. His other hand toyed with the clasps on her skirt, unclasping them with ease. He pulled her astride, the bed voicing it's protest.

With another wet pop, he relinquished his assault on her rose-red lips. "We really can't." His actions betrayed his words as he drew the curtains.

"Why not?" Sakura questioned lowly, sounding nothing like the Genin he had trained. "I want to, you want to..."

Sakura snapped back to her present locale, remembering the almost desperate way Kakashi had made love with her their last night together. As if he were repenting, and she were his redemption.

"Hey, Sakura!" Hollered her drummer, Jingo. She tilted her chin up in greeting and waved to Hoshi and Kaya, her lead guitarist. The odd trio made their way to the bar.

"What's on tap?" Kaya asked, flipping her long brown hair behind her. The tall girl sat and lowered her trademark sunglasses onto the crook of her nose to see the labels clearer.

"Nothing good," Sakura sighed back. She tossed Jingo a bottled water from the cooler next to her, and slid a shot of whiskey to Hoshi. Turning back to Kaya, she filled a pint glass with a lager on tap, remarking, "Here you go, honey."

"So what time do we go on?" Jingo asked. His spiky black hair was styled into a faux hawk, and his aquamarine eyes were shadowed with black and grey. The effect was devastating.

It took Sakura a moment to get her breath back after he fixed his eyes on her. "Um, 9, I think." She grabbed the draught spout away from Kaya while she spoke. "Nuh-uh. Pace yourself. We don't need another incident."

"Pfft," the other girl waved her off. "I'm good now. See, then, I was a sloppy drunk."

Smirking, Hoshi leaned on her stool back. "And now?"

Kaya tilted her head back to fix a smile at him. "Now, I don't spill a drop." They all shared a laugh at the fun-loving brunette. She looked at her watch, and sighed. "Well, guys, we should get back and tune 'em up."

As they walked away, Sakura could hear Jingo asking, "So, Legs, how, exactly, does one tune drums?" He put his arm around the girl and grinned.

Kaya's fading reply was, "I don't know how other percussionists do it, but I like to use the phallus of a particularly annoying band mate."

Sakura laughed and shook her head. Her band mates were something else. In the short time she had been in Kyoko, they had become her surrogate family. Her depression in the first few weeks. Had spawned a lot of self-effacing poetry and spiteful songs. When she had gotten the guts up to perform one of them at an Open Mic Night that had been put on by the mediocre cafe down the street, Jingo had been the one to approach her.

Her first impression of the handsome young man had been one of a female hygiene product. He looked the type to expect a woman to bow to his whims, and give nothing back. After conversing with him for a short time, she had learned what a misconception that was. He had been funny, understanding, and intelligent. His blue-green eyes were always shifting depending on his mood, and his lips were quick to smile disarmingly. Even when insulting someone blatantly, Sakura found he had a placating manner that allowed his words to be taken with much injury, but with quick understanding and even appreciation.

She wouldn't even delude herself into believing there wasn't an attraction to him. He was a mixture of all her teammates' best parts, with his own life experiences driving him. When she looked at him, she could see a hint of Sasuke's aristocratic features in his high cheek bones. Naruto's mischief lay in his azure gaze, cunning and fun-loving. The feature that twisted the knife in Sakura's heart, however, was not physical; Jingo's intelligence and love for the complexities life offered rivaled, if not exceeded, Kakashi's. Her former sensei-turned-lover loved puzzles, and found them in almost anything, from the newspaper every morning to the world and the people who lived in it. His favorite activity was not reading. In fact, it was people watching, and he would do it over the top of his signature orange book for hours.

Jingo was the same way. Unlike Kakashi and very similar to Sai, he rarely grasped the human condition. He and Sakura would sit at the same cafe every friday morning and watch people pass by. The same middle aged man would sit nearby, interjecting his thoughts on the interactions they witness. Once, when a girl walked by in tears without the companion she had had the day before, they had both explained relationships to Jingo. How one could feel something the other did not. It had been obvious the poor girl's counterpart had not felt the same way by the wanting looks he shot the other girls passing by.

When Jingo had asked why two people could feel so differently about one another, Sakura had calmly explained, "It's about priorities. Sometimes, one person's priorities don't match with another's, despite the attraction that they may have for one another. Like, you could see your whole future mapped out in someone's eyes, and they could see nothing in yours."

He had nodded, then. "So... sort of like why you came here?" Sakura's eyes widened in shock, turning subdued only seconds later.

"Yeah," she sipped her tea, "sort of like that."

"Pinky!" Sakura snapped to attention at her boss's voice. She whirled around wearing a guilty expression.

"Motoki?" The thirty-something chuckled, plopping a large hand on her shoulder. He broke out in a grin, splitting his weathered face.

"Hey, I'm gonna have you punch out at 8:30 to go backstage. Just finish up on the two-stage until then." The pinkette nodded and put down the glass she was cleaning, now spotless.

She looked in the direction Motoki thrust his thumb and sighed in happiness. The two-stage, as it was called, was a bi-level bar. The lower end was used to serve the drink to customers, and the higher platform was used to mix them. The whole thing was for show, as the bartenders mixed all the beverages with as much flair as possible. With Sakura's shinobi training, she was exceptionally gifted in this area.

Moving toward the rounded edge of the counter, she served a few businessmen before leaning against the back rail.

'20 more minutes,' she thought. The butterflies were already starting up, and her mouth had suddenly become as dry as a desert. This would be their third time performing, but it still felt like the first. Tonight was sure to be their biggest crowd, that was for sure. Hoshi and Kaya had canvassed the whole city, putting up flyers and doing word-of-mouth promotions.

She was shaken from her thoughts by a burst of chakra from the direction of the door. Her head snapped up and she eyed the darkened entrance. Obviously a few other ninja that were on leave in the bar had felt it too. The burgundy headed Kumo nin in the far corner had reached for his holster, and the stocky Ame nin was already twirling their kunai. They both eyed Sakura for confirmation. Sensing no ill intent, she waved her hand at them, and they relaxed. Kind of. That was good enough for her.

The person at the door had stopped and was eyeballing the place. Now that Sakura thought of it, she didn't sense anything from this person, only that they were extremely powerful. Still, that chakra signature was familiar.

Upon spotting her at the bar, the person, clad in a dark cloak that seemed to shift with the shadows, moved toward her. He stopped, or at least she thought it was a he, and rubbed the space where his chin would be.

"Haruno, Sakura," it came out as a purr, but there was nothing docile about it. His voice was even more familiar, but still, Sakura couldn't recall it. Like a trying to catch butterflies with a broken net, she failed to make the connection. Even more unsettling than the voice was the idea that he, she was certain now, knew her name.

"Um, yes?" Her intelligence and cunning when faced with a potential enemy ninja was astounding. The figure's shoulders moved as though he was chuckling.

"You don't remember me, then? Perhaps I can help you." The same gloved hand reached up and began to remove the hood. Light played off of his frames, slimmer than they once were, casting a blindness into her eyes. When the spots stopped swimming, she took in his hair, now let loose, and the signature smirk still held on his lips.

Her eyes widened in recognition.

"Kabuto."


	10. New Model

Oh wow… at the time I'm actually sitting down to write this (yay for my daughter being in school), I have 40 favs on this and 73 alerts. You people are awesome.

I loved the response from the last chapter, and I'm glad you don't mind the occasional phone update. I've been working a lot, so they may be frequent.

This chapter is solely for you guys. No smut, no fluff, but a lot of angst and some comedy (at Kakashi's expense, duh!)

There are footnotes, so please read them. I'm sorry if this come out a bit rushed or if it lacks a little development, but… well.. I tried.

* * *

Chapter 10: New Model

"_Lifelike and poseable,  
Hopeless and disposable.  
I'm the new, I'm the new, new model  
I've got nothing inside.  
Better in the head and in bed,  
At the office.  
I can suck it and smile.  
New, new, new model.  
Don't let them know how far you go,  
Or that you use your "lovers."  
Oh look, you're like a VCR;  
Stick something in to know  
Just who you are you."_

_-Marilyn Manson "New Model No. 15"_

"Come on, Sensei! I can see the lights!" Naruto's excited form bobbed through the thinning trees, unable to contain his joy. Since leaving Tanzaku Gai, he had been doing nothing but reminiscing about Sakura. In that time, Kakashi had learned some useful information.

Apparently, almost everyone in Konoha had known about the relations he and Sakura had. Moreover, no one cared. He shouldn't have been surprised, considering the pinkette's best friends were gossiping bullhorns. That didn't change the surprise that had been evident to a blind person when the Kyuubi-containing young man had laid it all out.

"Seriously, Kaka-sensei, Iruka and Tenten have been doing the nasty for years! You really think you and Sakura-chan bumping uglies would cause much more than a raised eyebrow?" Naruto's amusement had annoyed him at first, until he realized the young man had a point. And was not using his fists to make it. Not quite what Kakashi expected. The euphemism, however, did cause his silver brows to twitch with disgust.

"'Bumping uglies?'" He repeated, absently. He had expected Naruto to start bludgeoning him with forest animals. Or throw a hastily made Rasen-shuriken at him. Something other than the flippant response he had received.

He was fairly certain the blond, regardless of his whirlwind romance with the former Hyuuga heiress, still had feelings for Sakura, so why the indifference?

He decided to ask, hedging carefully into a potential heart-to-heart with decidedly both his best and worst student.

"She was happy, Kakashi. Well, about as happy as Sakura could have gotten. She tried very hard to keep it low-key, but she was still happy, nonetheless."

"Was?"

Naruto sighed heavily. There would be no way to phrase what he was about to say tactfully, so instead, he tried to be as vague as possible. "We'll just say, it was easy to tell when your, uh, relationship ended."

Kakashi slowed even more, hands fisted in his pockets. He had a wonderful poker face, giving away none of the guilt he felt. "What do you mean?"

"Well, she worked a lot, taking doubles a few times a week, and when she wasn't working like crazy, she went out with Ino."

"What's so wrong with that?" Kakashi was unsure as to what the problem was with Sakura having a social life beyond his bedroom.

"Sakura is... How do I put it?" He fumbled a bit with words. Finally giving up, he stated bluntly, "She's you."

"Me? I know you're fairly certain you're being clear, but-" Kakashi was cut off by an annoyed growl from the young man next to him.

"She sits in the same seat at the same table at the same café every day, at the same time! She shows up horrifically late to social events, if at all, unless she's going out with Ino. Even then, she hands back, pulling out a small doodle pad or her book. She's even full of one-lined excuses about why she's late or how she should just stay home. I mean, she missed Hinata's birthday party, and, when I asked her why, she just scratched her head and mumbled something about a cat in a tree with claws like Ginsu knives."

"Ahhh, yes, that would be Widow Toriyomo's cat, Fluffles," Kakashi supplied, less than helpfully. "And what's so wrong with her wanting Sakura Time?"

"Um, well, when she reads at a club where everyone has to scream to be heard a foot away…?"

"So? Maybe she likes the ambiance." Naruto realized trying to explain this to Kakashi would be an uphill battle, but he was the Number One Knuckleheaded Ninja of Konoha! "What does she read, anyway? Self-help?"

Another snort erupted next to him, and Kakashi glanced over, hanky in hand. "Allergies?"

Naruto fixed him with a slightly disgusted glare and shoved his hands in his pockets. "She reads smutty romance novels."

They lapsed into silence then. Cicadas chirruped around the pair as they walked, night falling heavily between them.

Finally Kakashi spoke. "So… what's she doing in Kyoko-Gai?"

"She's a bartender, and she's in a band."

"…No, really."

Naruto's clear blue gaze met the side of Kakashi's face. "No, seriously. She works at a bar called That Place, and, on Fridays, her band plays."

"'That Place,' hm? Guess that makes meeting for drinks easier." He shrugged his pack a bit higher and minutely quickened his pace.

"It's not really that kind of bar."

Kakashi paused mid-step. "Is this like a riddle? You know, 'When is a bar not a bar?' And then you jump into the punch line, loudly proclaiming, 'When it's a stick' or some nonsense?" Naruto clapped him on the back, chuckling.

"No, I mean it's more of a nightclub or something, and less of a pub. And that made no sense, Sensei." The men reached the outskirts of Kyoko-Gai quickly, the lights glittering overhead.

While Naruto's attention was drawn by the various neon advertisements (Ramen, Ramen, RAMEN!), Kakashi focused on gathering information ('Where's That Place?' 'Which place?' 'That Place.' 'Uh…').

Finally, the two had their bearings ("turn at the girly club with the pair of legs in neon blue fishnet, go down three alleys, and it's on the left of the love motel with the picture of a croquet mallet. Oh! And if it's not on the left, look LEFTER!").*

Sure enough, That Place was not on the left. The two men turned another 45 degrees and found it was, in fact, lefter.

"Good directions," Naruto commented dryly. Kakashi nodded sagely and attempted to shake the feeling of oil that had seeped into his skin the closer they had become to the club.

"Quite accurate indeed." Both men shrugged at one another and entered.

* * *

"Kabuto." She repeated his name, licking her lips to try and restore the moisture to them.

"Yes," he responded dryly, "I'm sure we've established who I am, Miss Haruno."

"But…"

"I'm simply travelling. Really, Sakura, no cause for alarm." She snorted at that. No cause for alarm? That was like saying 'Don't mind the bloodthirsty tiger in the room, go about eating your steak.'

"Excuse my disbelief, but last I heard, you were busy trying to keep a snake at bay?"

"Quite. In fact, I'm sure you'd find my achievements in that front remarkable, as a medic yourself." Kabuto was nothing like she'd remembered him. Sure, he still had silver hair, but instead of the shaggy ponytail he had once worn, this was shaven under and worn in a high fashion at the crown of his skull. His glasses were now thinned frames, and his clothing was… interesting to say the least. He wore his shifting cloak like a travel poncho. She caught glimpses of simple black pants with knee-high boots overtop, silver shin guards glittering in the light.

His was his face and demeanor that sent her mind reeling. Kabuto had always been a passably handsome boy, his dark eyes hidden behind glaring spectacles, a knowing smirk on his thin lips. When he had officially allied himself with Oto, everyone realized just how licentious his grin actually was.

Now, he stood before her, seeming not to have aged, save the slimming of his face and his newfound height. He stood at least a head and a half taller than she, and she eyed him as his lithe form hunched on the bar, resting on his elbows. It would be a crime to say he wasn't devastating.

She found herself blushing at his proximity, and moved back jerkily.

"Now, now, dear Sakura. Is that any way to treat an old acquaintance?" He smiled teasingly, and she was entranced by the slightly lengthened canines that appeared. She would be lying if she said she didn't find that the smallest bit attractive. Remembering her cover, she blushed once more.

"Sorry, um, can I get you anything?" She avoided eye contact, fearing the worst. As Sakura turned to retrieve a glass for him, a warm pressure found its way around her wrist. She turned back and eyed the hand holding her.

"A moment of your time."

"I- I can't," Sakura replied, eyeing the clock nearest her.

"Why not?" his voice teased her again, smooth and dark, like silk and chocolate and all things decadent. "Your boyfriend expecting you home? On a mission from the Village?" Sakura allowed a small frown to crimp the corners of her mouth and furrow her brow.

"Not quite, I have to be on stage in twenty minutes." She pulled herself gently from his grasp and walked away, feeling his eyes on her form. She denied herself the shiver the shook her to her very core until she was safely behind closed doors. In addition, with it, the low heat in her tummy threatening her sanity along with the voices in her head telling her every reason she should book it out of there.

* * *

'What an interesting reaction from the little mouse,' Kabuto mused as he thought about her face after he mentioned the Village. It hadn't been difficult to ascertain her reaction was only half true. The slight hesitation before she pinched her lips together indicated either an unwillingness to discuss a difficult subject or an outright lie that would come out of her little pink lips. Instead, she had surprised him by simply moving away. The tenseness of her form hadn't escaped his notice, however.

He remembered Haruno Sakura quite well from past encounters. From the Chunnin Exams, where she had surprised everyone by making the Yamanaka girl knock herself out, by first rendering Sakura herself unconscious. The most delicious memory, however, was the battle on the bridge when her new captain had masqueraded (badly) as Sasori of the Red Sands. His serpentine lips twisted into a grin as he recalled how her eyes glittered like angry emeralds. He had been able to taste her relief after the Kyuubi had slapped her away like a mosquito.

She had been only so willing to learn vital medical jutsu, then. Now, she was away from her precious Leaf, and he had so much more to teach her.

Kabuto slid the cloak over one shoulder, leaning against the bar. In all honesty, he hadn't known she would be here, nor had he been actively searching for an apprentice, but now that he had stumbled across Konoha's Cherry Blossom, he would not be letting her slip through his fingers. He sipped on his sake, a low "Kampai" mumbled from his lips. What better way to get revenge on the village that had not only ostracized and actively hunted his shishou, but had condemned Kabuto himself for his knowledge, than to soil their would-be second generation Sanin with that which was denied to him?

"Perfect," he whispered when the lights dimmed. Her two teammates had come in and seated themselves in a darkened corner. Uzumaki Naruto, the Kyuubi vessel, and Hatake Kakashi, the legendary Copy Ninja, would be the perfect witnesses to the eventual subjugation of their sinfully innocent, pink-haired counterpart.

* * *

"Hey Kaka-sensei?" Normally, Kakashi would have allowed Naruto to babble mindlessly in regards to whatever was on his mind, but the tone of his voice implied something of a much more serious nature.

"Naruto?" Kakashi responded back, barely moving his lips. There was mixed company in this bar. Discretion was beyond necessary. When the boy didn't answer immediately, Kakashi's head turned toward him. In the dimmed lights, he could make out the terse straight line of the boy's lips. "What's wrong?"

The Kumo nin nearby tilted an ear their way.

Sorry buddy, nothing interesting here, just a couple of teammates out for a drink and a show. "Had too much already?" Oh, please, if the Fourth was looking over him at that moment, let Naruto get the hint.

"Must've," Naruto mumbled back. Yes! Kakashi's good mood was shot to shit when Naruto tapped a message into the back of his visible hand. 'Just me or something weird here?'

Kakashi used his sandaled foot to tap a message back, intending to come off as impatient. 'Chakra signature?'

'Familiar. Bad.' Naruto responded back. A pretty waitress approached their table to ask for their drink order. Taking in Naruto's had atop Kakashi's, and the insistent way Kakashi's foot met Naruto's, her smile dropped. After receiving their drink orders ("Shochu for me, and a bottle of sake with a saucer and a glass of water back for my companion."), she could be heard lamenting the apparent sexual orientation of all the cute ones as she walked away.

The two men quickly removed their appendages from each other with looks of disdain and appraisal.

"Not my type."

"Never in a million- WHAT?" Naruto's horrified screech resounded through the establishment, and Kakashi deeply wished he were somewhere else at that exact moment. After a moment of contemplation (and gagging), Naruto had finally reached the conclusion there were things about his sensei he wished to never know.

"You know, Naruto, there are many things you could learn in this world in how to please a woman." Kakashi said matter-of-factly, winking (or blinking?) at the pretty waitress who had returned with her drinks.

"Um…"

"Besides, those ANBU missions can get very long…" He commented, scrawling something on a napkin and handing it to her.

"Ergh…"

"And lonely…" Because THAT wasn't said with any amount of innuendo or general creepiness…

"Oh, fuck, make it end- HEY! She's coming on!" Naruto had never been so happy to see Sakura in tight leather pants. Or a white wife beater. When had she grown THOSE?

As Naruto had the epiphany that Sakura's normal outfit did her no justice, Kakashi was simultaneously wiping the drool from the table and trying to keep his eyes in his head.

* * *

(This would be a great place to end, but I'm not that mean. I've left you guys with too many "GASP" cliffhangers. And I have so much more in me.)

* * *

The first thing Sakura noticed when walking on the stage was the amount of teenagers crowding the front. The second was Naruto and Kakashi in the back staring wide-eyed, and Kabuto at the bar licking his lips. She shivered. It should be a sin to have three hot men focusing solely on her as if she were her last meal. Oh well, might as well give them a show.

* * *

"If you don't know our name by now, you haven't been paying attention to the flyers. In which case, why the FUCK are you here?" She brashly commented into the mic, cheers responding in kind. "Hey, fuckers, I have some old friends here. Should we show them how we kick ass in Kyoko-Gai?" More cheers empowered her, and she signaled to the band.

Kakashi turned to Naruto. "What's her band's name?"

"Kokushitsu,**" came the faint response.

"Black lacquer? As in varnish or nail polish? I will never understand you kids."

Naruto snorted in his awestruck haze, never once breaking his view of Sakura. "You just dated yourself, sensei."

* * *

The club quieted down as Sakura placed her lips on the microphone again and waited. "From dehumanization to arms production…" she whispered, gazing left and right. Hopefully these teenagers, the future of their world, would get the message. Peace could not be found in war.

Kaya plunked a haunting tune on the xylophone, sounding like a children's music box. The effect was chilling.

"Power, power, the law of the land. Those living for death will die by their own hand."

Rapt attention was paid to her as she repeated phrases to drive them home.

"It's your choice, your choice, your choice, your choice; peace, or annihilation."***

Naruto's jaw dropped. Everything he and Pain had discussed in Konan's paper tree. Everything Jiraiya had tried to attain and teach. She had put it to words to teach the kids who followed her.

Without any preamble, Sakura broke into a heavily distorted riff, making eye contact with Jingo. He took up the rhythm with Hoshi, and she allowed her hands to leave the strings. She may be talented enough to sing and play guitar, but playing lead and singing required more time than she had ever had available.

Grasping the microphone in one hand, she swayed her hips slightly. As the first verse progressed, she brought her hands back to the frets for the chorus.

"And I don't understand, and I don't give a damn, cuz it's making no sense to me. I'm caught in between your lies and my dreams…" A few of the teenagers sang along, having heard this song from her before. These voices empowered her, made her feel stronger than any jutsu ever could.

She stopped playing and held the mic to a girl nearby.

"And I don't wanna be the one you're not thinking of. I don't wanna be anywhere, and I need you. I'm sorry if I'm a little confused you're leaving…" Sakura raised the mic back to the stand and completed the line, staring dead at Kakashi's chakra signature through the bright lights. "

"You ever think, it was the wrong thing to do?"

* * *

The show progressed with a fervor. The group of kids in front of the stage had grown steadily, nearly overtaking the whole club. They thrummed with every reverb, hummed with every bass line, and thumped with the tap of every tom and high hat. Kakashi had never seen such a mechanism of control save lobotomy to manage such a group, and yet, these children were led. Songs of rebellion, sex, drugs, and political questioning had them swaying and singing.

It would've sickened him to see such a display of mindless following, if Sakura hadn't have been the one leading it. Even then, there was something perverse in the idea that his little pink-haired student-turned-lover was amassing her own little disillusioned army of adolescents.

More than once, she had made eye contact with him, and driven her words into his chest, points sharper than any kunai. She was hurt, she was angry, and she was a woman who was not to be trifled with.

Every so often, he would catch a spike of chakra near the bar, and Naruto had been right. It did feel familiar. It felt dirty, oily, something made of death and sadism. Worse than the feeling of the chakra was the effect it seemed to have on Sakura. Each time it flared, her eyes glazed over and she stumbled with her words. She'd make eye contact with the figure at the bar, hooded and hiding, and would lick her lips. His gut flared with n unrecognized feeling, to stake his claim and take her off to some hidden dark place to have his way with her. To throttle the man at the bar and sink into the pinkette over and over without mercy.

Pure jealousy, he realized.

When the female drummer began a primal beat, thump… thump… thump, his attention was drawn back to the stage. He hadn't even realized they had been silent for so long. Banners dropped behind them of shadows of warplanes overtop fields of beautiful flowers and children playing. On another, the band was featured in crisp blacks and whites, clouds not dissimilar to the Akatsuki behind them, with their band logo at the bottom; a bloodied scrawl of the two Kanji characters that comprised their name.

The lead guitarist shouted wordlessly, and the bassist breathed heavily. Sakura marched out slowly from the wings, dressed in full military regalia, an unnamed foot soldier for any faceless dictator. She knelt toward the teenagers in front of her and placed a hand over their heads, offering solace.

"Don't fret, precious, I'm here. Step away from the window. Go back to sleep." A sick smile cracked her features, and, for the first time, Kakashi feared her. It wasn't every day one watched the woman he had helped train smile like the traitor she hated.

He watched silently as she tilted a younger chin with her finger, speaking directly to them.

The chaos of the song was beginning to give him a headache. She stood and saluted the crowd as she whispered, "Go back to sleep."

Her band mates tilted their bodies like puppets, and she moved her hands like the puppeteer. For a moment, Kakashi believed her to have that power. Silence overtook the stage momentarily as she sat on the edge, waving her feet like a child.

"I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons. I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason. I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices, son. One and the same, I must isolate you, isolate and save you from yourself."

The song quieted from there, silence ringing in the club. Thunderous applause erupted from nowhere, as loud and chaotic as the previous song. Sakura smiled prettily and thanked her crowd, bowing like the polite girl she once used to be. The image would never leave his mind, however, of Sakura parading the stage, bending the minds of mere children to believe what she wished.

Unfortunately, this would have to be reported to Tsunade. Especially due to the mixed company in the club. They would all report to their respective Kages what was witnessed in the small club in Kyoko-Gai. And the small girl in the small club who had the power to brainwash with words.

* * *

She took the military jacket off (that thing was so hot!), and picked up her guitar. Only a few more songs to go before they could call it a night. She launched into another high tempo song, and hoped against hope it would lessen the blow of the politically charged song before. It had been Kaya who had come up with the idea of the military ensemble, including the banners, which had been dropped from the ceiling after the song was over. They now lay in two crumpled piles in the rear wings, and in their places, two distant gravesites, both artists renderings of the ones described by Sakura and Jingo.

One, if one knew what they were looking at, was the Uchiha family gravesite. In the center of the enlarged oil pastel was Sasuke's grave, a pace she had spent much time.

In the other banner, Jingo's own family site was illustrated. Three graves, overgrown with weeds, were clearly marked, 'mother,' 'father,' and 'sister.' When the artist had shown Jingo, the man had become even more quiet than usual. It had taken Sakura telling him about Sasuke, a more dumbed down version anyway, to get him back into the swing of things. Together, they visited his family, and she was introduced.

Now, he seemed at ease with the banners, if not a little too nonchalant, but Sakura couldn't push him into opening up about something he had already told her enough about.

She only hoped, now, that the repercussions of the song before would be slight.

Their up-tempo song came to an end, and the last two songs presented themselves. A heavy, sad song about loss and death was played, and Sakura couldn't keep her tears from showing. So much like Sasuke, the words alluded to a painful death of a loved one or lover. She had remembered finding him, how she held his hand and closed his eyes. She remembered his burial and the sad procession, how the Elders only mourned the loss of the Uchiha clan…

Refocusing herself, she played the last song, not wanting to shake her tears off. This was just as sad, just as poignant.

"What if I never saw you again? I'd die right next to you in the end. That place in my mind, is that space that you call mine." She made eye contact with Kakashi one last time. "I won't let you walk away without hearing what I have to say." He shifted in his seat and closed his eyes, lowering his head down and to the side. Too painful? Oh well, he would have to learn how to deal. These words were her heart, all the broken pieces of it, lain out for dissection. Every hug from Naruto, every scowl from Sasuke, and every eye crinkle from Kakashi. If he couldn't deal… well… finally, she felt confident enough to say 'fuck him.'

Applause followed her as they strode off the stage, and, for the first time since arriving in Kyoko-Gai, a truly happy smile lifted her face. She could finally say she didn't give two shits what Hatake Kakashi thought of her.

* * *

TBC… DON'T WORRY, IT DOESN'T END HERE. This is a KakaSaku, for crying out loud. I wouldn't end it just like that. There's, like, a plot and stuff. Ha.

*Erm, yes, I have in fact received these directions. And it was not on the left. I looked lefter, and there it was. Poof, like magic. The difference? Mine was received in broken English from a Latino guy name Jorge. He was cool as hell. So, Jorge, muchos gracias por your directions.

** Her band, to clarify, because I screwed it up in the last chapter:

Sakura – lead vocals, rhythm guitar

Hoshi – Bassist, backing vocals

Jingo – Lead guitarist, screamer (oh yeah, baby)

Kaya – percussionist (not simply drummer, she's multi-talented, take that as you will)

***Sakura's playlist/set list. None of which I own (anything bold is her set list, which, yes, I have burned to cd, copies of which can be mailed to the first _**five**_ who review – mary, you're getting one anyway with your candy, which is ready to send. Do I legally own these songs? No, but I did buy the cd's they appear on, so suck it, RIAA. I paid good money, hard earned money, to put these together on a compilation for my friends. Operation Payback Is A Bitch should have taught you a lesson about sharing.)

**~"Annihilation" A Perfect Circle **

**~"Brake of Your Car" Lennon **

**~"New Model No. 15" Marilyn Manson **

**~"Fake It" Seether **

~"Keep Your Hands Off My Girl" Good Charlotte

**~"Everything Sucks" Pitchshifter **

~"When I Am Queen" Jack Off Jill

**~"Microwaved" Pitchshifter **

**~"Arma-Goddamn-Motherfuckin-Geddon" Marilyn Manson (very explicit)**

~"Down to None" Reveille  
**~"Rabbiteen" Jack Off Jill **  
**~"Valentine's Day" Marilyn Manson**  
~"Strawberry Gashes" Jack Off Jill  
~"Inside Out" Reveille  
**~"Tear Away" Drowning Pool  
~"Slow" Professional Murder Music  
~"Farewell Fix" Reveille  
~"Dirty" Korn  
~"Save Yourself" Stabbing Westward **

~"Make Me Bad" Korn  
**~"Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums" A Perfect Circle  
~"Fear of Dying" Jack Off Jill  
~"So Cold" Breaking Benjamin  
~"Danger – Keep Away" Slipknot **


	11. Surgery

**I really hope you guys like this chapter. Another one from the DoomBerry.**

**Disclaimer: IDNON!**

Chapter 11: Surgery

_"I can't change, _

_I'll replace the decay, _

_make you second guess your everyday._

_I can't change, _

_I'll survey the damage. _

_Kill the narcissist with his reflection_

_until tomorrow._

_Hold me under, _

_cut away this empty._

_Hold me under. _

_Change the way I feel about you."_

_-"Surgery" Jack Off Jill_

The bass-beat set the speed for the bodies writhing on the dancefloor. Limbs intertwined as two, sometimes three or four people danced in simulated passion. Hips ground together, circled away, and met again in heated friction. The lights above flashed blue, red, yellow, then back to blue, painting the masses of the sexually charged in an almost artistic rendering of lust.

When the deejay, a petite ebony haired woman, changed songs, cheers rose up from the crowd.

Kakashi had lost sight of Sakura in the crowd. Where her pink hair would have normally given her away, he found many of the youths from the bar had followed suit with their own hair.

He was at an impasse; if he informed Tsunade of the content of her music, she would be hunted down for treason at the behest of the elders. And if he didn't, another country's Kage would act accordingly. Such traitorous words only led to equally traitorous thoughts. That was what the Kages would think, at least, and they would inform each respected Daimyo.

She would be hunted and killed on sight.

At least in Konoha, she would be tried and the consequences would be lessened to prison time. Maybe.

The song changed once again, and he had finally found the roseate. She was being pulled onto a small stage with her band's drummer, laughing and shaking her head. He had briefly met the tall girl outside of That Place, and had a sense of deja vu upon seeing her. Upon serious recollection, he realized she had, at one point, been a stripper in another border city, along the strip of land between Tsuki and Oto.

Kakashi observed Sakura's form as it moved from hesitancy to confidence. The girls danced in unison with eachother, swaying their hips on either side of a silver pole spanning from ceiling to the floor of the stage. His jaw lay agape when Sakura bent her knees, slapped the floor, and pushed her ass in the air. It hadn't escaped his notice that Kaya, formerly Tsuki, had done the same simultaneously. Catcalls filled the air and the men from the band jokingly held up money. His blood boiled even with the apparent jesting.

How dare they mock his- his what? His teammate? Friend? No, he realized, this was much deeper than simple annoyance. He, upon introspection, was jealous.

The song-and-dance finished up and the girls were given a hand down by their male counterparts. Again, he lost her in the crowd.

"Go find her, Sensei." Naruto mumbled over a tumbler of scotch. Kakashi nodded and pushed himself off the stool.

_"Brave words for the Hokage's apprentice._" Sakura mulled over Kabuto's statement. She hadn't put thought into the songs she had sung earlier until Kabuto had nonchalantly informed her of their treacherous intent.

_"You've been influenced by that Kyuubi boy, I'm guessing."_ More of a statement than a question, but true nonetheless.

She had pondered, in the weeks following Pein's invasion, the content of Naruto's conversation with the last of the Rinnegan bloodline. He had told her time and time again, but somehow, she was still missing something.

He had said shinobi were the pawns the Kages and, following that logic, if the shinobi villages and their Kages were decimated, there would be peace. Without anyone to hire out, the Daimyos would have to solve their problems the good old fashioned way; poorly written treaties full of loopholes. But, she had realized long ago, even if one razed the world of its shinobi population, there would always be someone willing enough to fight and die for a price. When it came to the beaurocracies which controlled the world, the moniker was true; money talked and shit walked.

After such an epiphany, the words came easily, the meaning even easier. The people in power were the ones creating the problems. Extricate them from the equation, and the rest of the dominos would fall. First, there would be chaos, then alliances would form and people would rise up in the wake of insurrection. Weapons of mass destruction would be destroyed to make way for smaller arms of militant groups. Eventually, the smaller groups would settle down, and the world would be peaceful.

She had explained this all to Kabuto, who had snorted and laughed at her. _"Do you really believe the human animal is not opportunistic and violent to a fault?"_

_"What do you mean?" She had questioned, while removing her makeup. Her veridian eyes gazed back curiously in the mirror._

_He met her stare with a penetrating one of his own, hands moving to brush through her hair. She fought a blush at his familiarity. "What I mean, dear Sakura, is that the human animal is cursed with sentient thought. It has the ability to do wondrous things and rise above its station in nature, and yet, it chooses to lay below what is considered a more primal beast. Other creatures in nature embrace the need to survive by embracing their instincts. We are the only creatures that fight and kill to protect our weaker-thans. Any other creature will kill its handicap in order to survive."_

_Her face reddened in anger. "What about your research, Kabuto? What about all the people you could have saved with your knowledge of genomes and cellular regeneration?" Her voice was hard, her eyes glittering emeralds._

_His hands moved to her shoulders and rubbed them to relax her trembling body. She was ashamed to have enjoyed it. "My research is to better mankind by improving the skills of our best creatures."_

_"Your research... is...? You're... still...?" Sakura was gasping with the horror of her discovery. The man behind her simply smiled benignly, and moved one hand to her neck, rubbing circles in the muscles to placate her._

_"That's why I'm here, dear. I'm searching for able-bodied, like-minded people."_

_"To do what?" She spun in her chain and gazed at him, hard. He knelt and placed his large, calloused hands on her cheeks. It vaguely entered her mind that his hands were not medic's hands. She concentrated on his eyes, so often hidden behind his glasses, and found them to be full of earnest._

_"To evolve," he replied simply, darkly. Seeing no comprehension, he spun away from her and stood. He paced before her, each step driving deeper the meaning of his words, and the depth of his insanity._

_"I'm searching for those who represent the best of their clans, villages, species. Often, they are disillusioned by the so-called perfection of the villages around them. Once I expose the lies and corruption, my subjects are more than happy to join me in my quest for true human perfection. They see the skewed moral compass that sways like a pendulum around them. The lies which are fed to the blind masses are uncovered, and my subjects come with me in order to have a chance to level the playing field."_

_"You- your subjects? Kabuto- are- are you stil conducting Orochimaru's research?" Sakura knew now Kabuto was the man she was searching for. He was now a man who was capable of anything, from the kidnapping of a high-ranking official's talented nephew to the slaughter of the many for the success of the few. She felt sick, and a bit intrigued. To imagine a level playing field between those in power and those that enforced it was indeed a utopian ideal._

_"Orochimaru wanted his own army. Whether it be for his own gain of world domination, or for infiltration and the eventual downfall of the Hidden Villages, I will never know." He stopped pacing and stared off. Sakura's breath caught at the far off look in his eye. This was not the Kabuto she had fought against. He was not the man who had betrayed them at the Chunnin exams 10 years before. This new person before her had ideals, a goal. He had faith and was willing to die for it, not for some madman's sick excuse for medical developments._

_Her next question surprised even her. "How far have you gotten?" She never bothered with questioning the contents of his research. She didn't want to know that he was quite possibly cracking the code to the human body. _

_"All of my subjects have lived." The roseate woman gasped and his head twitched toward her._

_"But..."_

_"Yes, Sakura, I've unlocked the genetic code. I've found a way to alter it, and can award my subjects the maximum of their abilities. They can regerate cellular damage, use almost unlimited chakra. They are faster, stronger. Some are even telepaths or pyrokinetics."_

_She stood, then, and brought herself within a foot of the taller man. "That would mean..."_

_"I have perfected the human animal." He closed the gap between them. Fingering a lock of her hair that had slipped over her shoulder, he gazed at her neck. "There's only one problem."_

_"What's that?" She whispered, her heart racing. She felt like the rabbit running away from the wolf._

_"They have no empathy. No compassion or mercy." He raised his eyes to her. She was so fixated on the slight silver flecks in his otherwise unremarkable eyes, so caught up in being this close to him, she nearly missed his following statement. "That's where I need you."_

She had responded late, but had kicked and punched and thrown any object she could at him. When he had finally exited the room, much too calmly for a man who was being hunted for crimes against nature, he had simply asked her to think on it.

What made her even more nauseous, she thought as she gazed over the dancefloor from the VIP lounge, is that she was thinking on it. Sakura was more aware than ever to the fact that she could not return home to Konoha. Not without being tried for treason.

There wasn't a doubt in her mind as to whether or not Kakashi would tell Tsunade. He was a good shinobi. He personified nationalism in his occupation; he would do anything for his Country, including hauling Sakura in by her trademark Haruno clan tunic for terrorist sentiments. He loved his friends, but his love of Country far exceeded any adoration he had for the few people he let into his life. And despite their history together, maybe even because of it, Sakura knew she would be no exception.

Besides, this was her mission. Apprehend the mastermind behind the kidnappings. By whatever means necessary.

"Sakura." His baritone sounded behind her, and she jumped. The woman in question moved her head to the side to regard him. She stayed by the balcony.

"Kakashi?" She questioned, already fearing what the not-so-retired ANBU was to say. He could hear the betrayal already seeping into her airy alto pitch.

"You know what I have to do," he replied. That he would bring her back to Konoha went without saying. He moved to stand next to her.

She didn't reply. Only gazed back out over the people dancing and drinking. Her eyes paused on her bandmates at the bar, and once again on the man in the long, shifting cloak in the shadows by the stage. She had to do this.

Turning, Sakura appraised Kakashi. "You're a good man, Kakashi, and a good shinobi. I would expect nothing less from you." Her hand moved forward to graze his. She felt him ball his fist, rather than saw it.

"But?"

Stepping closer to him, she placed one hand on his shoulder, the other already behind her back placing one-handed seals. "I'm sorry, Kakashi."

His charcoal and burgundy eyes widened. Before he could open his mouth, she dissolved in a dustdevil, upsetting the napkins on the low table nearby. From the corner of his eye, Kakashi noticed a shadow shift, but by the time he turned to face the area by the raised platform, there was nothing.

"Your answer?" Kabuto's warm words filled her ears, sending shivers up her spine. His hands moved up and down her arms, and he drew her into him. Sakura could feel the hard planes of his stomach on her back, his pectorals giving warmth to her shoulder blades. She stared at the pair they made in the mirror of her dressing room.

As his nose nudged her head to a tilt and caressed her neck, she replied. "I'll do it."

Her eyes slid shut as his soft lips attacked her neck in featherlight kisses. A moan fought to break free.

"You won't regret this, my dear." His warmth left her and she could hear the rustling he made as he picked up her pack, already filled with her clothes. Before this moment, she had been so sure about leaving here with him. Sakura had packed her essentials, and left a note on the dressing table apologizing to her band. Now, though, as she slowly peeked her eyes open, she doubted herself. Before she could say another word, she was pulled into his lithe, muscular body. Her hands instantly braced against his chest, feeling the soft planes of his muscles beneath her petite hands. One hip was pressed tightly against his groin, and a spark of excitement rolled through her when she felt him twitch from their proximity.

The door burst open, and the last thing Sakura saw before she was whisked away in a teleportation jutsu was Kakashi's face.

**The soundtrack to this chapter is very dark:**

**"Surgery" by Jack Off Jill**

**"Living Dead Girl Remix" by Rob Zombie**

**"Total Job Remix" by The Faint**

**"Effigy 23" by American Head Charge**

**"Trickster" by Kidneythieves**

**"Make Me Bad" by Korn**

**Thanks for reading!**


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